The Role of Your Past
I am not going to lie I live in the narrative world & after years upon years of therapy have finally been able to understand the role the past plays in my life today.
Now don't get your panties in a bunch & hear me out. Sure the past can often be stamped into our memory so strong we cannot seem to forget. My past was nothing short of being filled with gut wrenching hardship & truly remarkable joy. Yet neither of those define who I am.
As someone who did a TEDx on the power of culture to influence life you might think otherwise. Just as my culture has had a role in the person I am it does not define me.
I define me.
In a narrative world respect for the past is understood yet it strives to re-tell your own story. I sat many hours in a therapist office hearing how the past was responsible for my current story. I beg to differ believing that the I get to author my own story by constructing new meanings to emotions, thoughts and outcomes from the past.
The past does not define me.
As someone living in community invited into people's homes & having the opportunity to be vulnerable with each other I hear quite often how the past is the reason for this or that. "I am this way because when I was raised..." are common responses to why things are the way they are or why growth is not happening.
As I shared in my TEDx "Cultural Collision" I think many of us choose an autopilot existence allowing for the past to become a scapegoat for all things important in tapping our miracle life.
Once I began to get conscious with the who, what & why of my life story the past became a story that I got to rewrite & not one that defined me. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) used to define me until I was able to realize the story is not written by MS it is written by me. If MS was defining me it was because that is what I allowed for.
My mother was an addict which for many years did define my life. Even in therapy all the hours spent were often talking about the role having an addicted mom played in my life outcome. I felt like I spent years in therapy talking about mom & her why which produced nothing to help me tap my best life. Instead it provided me with 'reasons' for my struggles offering zero tools to rewrite the story.
I say hogwash to that.
The narrative of my life included an addicted mom this is true however the story I tell is mine regardless of how my mothers life was defined. Her actions are her life.
My actions only define & are responsible for my life.
I personally believe that once we can start to realize we are the only creators of our story can we tap our BAM. As long as we let the actions, idea's and outcome of others share in our narrative we are going to be unable to raise the roof on our own lives.
Autopilot living which includes many cultural norms make it impossible to have a narrative that is a path to your miracle life. We each need to recognize the past as a script that we get to re-write so we can define our journey and not as the reason for our why.
Your story today is written only by you not your past.
Not going to lie this concept has been so freeing for me similar to ditching the scale & no longer counting calories all of which were cultural norms I adhered to for far to long.
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