Stop Helping Others First

I am not kidding.

Do you know how many people help others without owning their own shit?

I know I was one of them.

In addition to being an enabling parent who was more than willing to drive to school 5 times in one day when my daughter forgot something I was involved in everything from the MS Society, local community organizations, volunteering at school, fund raising for 1/2 dozen charities a year & all of this with a body that was increasingly struggling with the devastation known as Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

Of course when MS progressed to disability I had the perfect excuse why I found it hard to take the best care of myself. Clearly I was busy.

Healing to the level of miracle status involves helping yourself 1st and foremost. It is only after we care for our own needs that we can truly help others and this my friends was the hardest lesson for me to learn.

I think my therapist of many years told me each weekly visit to realize if there was a book that listed the amount of time someone should spend helping others I would have exceeded the average limit so that I can take a break to focus on myself. My response was bullshit and I could not have been more wrong.

When I moved to California I decided to resign from all volunteer stuff and any optional commitments. Already disabled and my health failing quickly I was beyond desperate and almost way late to the party. As luck would have it once I took time for me the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady started to happen. Little by little I was able to create the space for my healing & help myself.


Finally I owned my life 100% by committing to helping myself & miracles began to happen.

It is amazing how once you start to live in harmony with your body, mind and spirit how illness both mental and physical start to appear differently almost on a daily basis. For the 1st time I started to feel like I had a role and was not simply a victim in waiting. MS had always felt like it was the BOSS & once I moved to CA to begin my healing journey for the 1st time I felt like I was becoming the BOSS of me.

By the time I was blessed to find the work of Dr. Terry Wahls where I quickly became the BOSS of my life & my body.

My health was in such poor shape I cut myself off from the outside world and began to hibernate desperate to find answers. I was waking up regarding life & how I lived it to the point of realizing my life was toxic in its current form and I needed to make major changes. Even with the commitment to work on myself only I still needed to wake up and own my life. Stopping being of service to the community was not enough. I had to own the life of V in order to heal.

Once I was able to own my shit I was able to begin the process of being the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady.

In order to help others we must offer our personal best. Without bringing your "A" game you are simply sacrificing your best life in order to please another which although this my seem admirable it is not a good look. Not at all. All to often I see people who are sick and suffering forgoing their own needs to help others. This is diversion from owning your life no matter how you slice and dice it. All of mankind would be better served if each of us were healthy, happy and awake. The autopilot of life sets us up for sickness, disappointment and not the best quality of life.

Now don't get it twisted I am not talking about roles that happen outside the home only. As I mentioned my enabling behavior as a parent offered the perfect excuse as to why I had no time to heal. How we live in our own family also comes into play when we are striving to live our best life. No parent should ever put the needs of their children first although we are taught this.

Remember you put your mask on first in the event of a plane emergency. This holds true with our needs beyond the plane.

So how do you begin to make this change? Slow, steady, sustainable steps wins always. Find ways you can begin to remove yourself from anything that takes your eye off the self love ball to begin owning your role in sickness and health. Just as we have a hand in our wellness we have the same hand in our sickness.


Stopping the autopilot of life & giving 100% to our life purpose creates the space for the magic of healing to happen. As long as we give without having our house in order we never truly can tap our BAM.

Trust me I know because I live my BAM every day as a walking miracle who got here by owning my life. I believe in you to do the same.

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