Fragile Life Stricks Again...
By: PaleoBOSS Lady® This week has been a roller coaster ride like no other! #damnit
One minute the largest name in functional medicine, Dr. Mark Hyman, invites PaleoBOSS Lady® to join him and others for a live Facebook chat as a health, food and lifestyle expert which has me dancing in the streets. Then an email comes about something I have been working hard to manifest for a year and it kind of 'shatters' me to the core where I am questioning myself hard and no longer dancing.
When suddenly real life smacks me in the face when my BFF of 11.5 years, Raw Paleo Rita, the sweetest black & tan mini Dachshund ever, starts to walk toward me and falls. Basically still not up and it has been 3 days.
About 3 years ago when I knew I could not afford another dog I decided that Rita would live and be healthy until the age of 19. Literally I convinced myself of this and remind Rita daily with a 7+ year term left as my BFF. #ohitgetswild
The reality of what we are facing is literally coming from a place in my person that I thought I could out run and hide for another few years. This may not be the case and I am struggling to see through all lens clearly: mother, friend, provider and as a disabled person.
Living with a disabling disease makes this type of stuff even more challenging. My dog is unable to walk right now. She can take a few steps and try to 'run' a little only becoming unable to move. Just like what happens to me when I over use. #doubledamnit
If I rest then I get to use. If I don't I lose it. Rita is living in this world right now. #copycat
We both have been talking a lot to each other since this happened. I have not left her side as we try to figure out what defines quality of life. #hardassshit
Who defines quality of life? Rita cannot tell me and we all have different idea's.
The beauty of being 'human' is that we get to decide and share how we want our ending played out if given the choice. I have defined my quality of life and expressed legally and verbally to those I love. My parents did this for me and it was one of the greatest acts of their lifetime. Being disabled I knew this gift had to be given to my daughter.
In our time together these 11.5 years Rita has shared with me what is important to her quality of life. Now more than ever I am paying attention to see those ideal's are met reassuring her all the way that I will not exceed her expectations. #promise
It is times like this that I feel compelled to say to you that sharing how your story plays out is important. We have no choice about the fact that it is ending, but we can certainly share how we would like it to end if we are given the privilege of knowing.
Most importantly hug those you love, tell them how you feel, slow the f down and realize what matters. Loving, being loved and having community! Without those elements in our lives we are nothing!
Last but not least if you could all just take a moment and send a little energy to my baby girl Rita that would be great! We feel so much already. Namaste.
Have you subscribed to the #PBL blog yet? #thankyou
Of course you have I was just being funny!
In case you didn't, it would be a great idea to get it taken care of now. You do not want to miss a minute of my nonsense.
Trust me. #ohitgetswild