Failure to Launch
Touring is a life changing experience and I am learning every day. Being invited to share others lives is a great gift and I am humbled daily that this is my life.
I am also no longer surprised at how much we live in a world that includes what I call, 'Failure to Launch.'
The work I do deals mostly with individuals/families in need who are dealing with a physical or psychological issue. Most of what we do based on psychology and the idea of a Failure to Launch' seems to happen often in many households.
When you are dealing with any area in life that requires help from another we begin to set the ground for a failure to launch. Last time I checked we all come up against this because truly living does not happen without a little help from our friends. A 'Failure to Launch' seems to be something we all face and work to overcome at least once in our lifetime. For me it has happened more frequently.
When your need for help is almost daily a 'Failure to Launch' really becomes an issue.
Seldom does a daily need have to become a life script yet many have trouble stopping this from happening. More often than not actions viewed as helping can have the opposite outcome serving to be enabling and condoning of someones situation.
With anxiety and autoimmune disease being huge problems in American I often see families dealing with these issues on the daily. Building a padded house and lifestyle is not the answer. Supporting a sustainable lifestyle is and changing the household narrative to support the needs of others is most important here.
Helping in excess can cripple the ability to overcome any life adversity. When illness comes into play we all want to help. However help has to be as conscious as the work needed to grow. When we continue to keep doing everything beyond a triage situation we hurt rather than help. Don't discount the role an autopilot life plays in a 'Failure to Launch' specifically when the role of parent/child comes into play.
Here are a few words of advice:
- To the person or family dealing with anxiety and depression of a loved one be sure to engage then daily and encourage their life. Don't walk on egg crates and stop challenging their life choices. Be present with them everyday.
- To the family whose dealing with a disease that makes a loved ones mobility a challenge remember this does not mean they are unable. It means new ways of moving and working have to be constructed to support the challenges. Doing is not helping.
- To the person dealing with a physical or mental issue stop abusing the generosity of others. Do whatever you can for yourself always and no matter what. How long it takes is not an issue. The freedom to care for yourself is your greatest gift. Do not freely give it away and take care of whatever you can for you.
- To the family surrounded by changes due to any illness remember we all have the right to live our best life and define how this looks. Judgement and lack of support stand have no place here. Different or conscious does not mean difficult. Supporting our life choices is a huge healing modality.
I don't mean to sound harsh, but these are patterns I can personally relate too as I have lived times that included the 'Failure to Launch' life.
By understanding the fine line between helping and harming a failure to launch can be avoided.
Being conscious about life is not always easy so be prepared to have to take a stand and be brutally honest with yourself and others especially when you are in need. Many times we realize in this journey that cultural and societal norms play a huge role and often dictate actions that set the stage for a 'Failure to Launch.' Needing help and giving to another are actions that should be clearly defined with goals so that the stage is not set to fail either party. Simply helping or being helped are not enough. Goals, activities and measurements for success need to be clearly defined at all times so helping does not become hurting.
I still cannot believe this blog won 'Best Of' from Paleo Magazine for health and wellness!
My heart is humbled and my spirit overjoyed.
I would not be mad at all if you wanted to share this with your family and friends.