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The Art of Making Love


The Art of Making Love

It is so funny I spent my entire adult life wanting to be a good lover to find out I have been and just didn't know it.

In case any of you missed this I am a person who has always worked out. Since the early days of "Jane Fonda" I have loved to get my sweat on. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) also required daily movement if I want to move my body.

A typical 'self love' session lasts anywhere from 1.5 hours to 3 depending on what my body is telling me married to what I may be asking of me that day. These loving sessions usually include yoga, stretching, meditation, dancing, hula hooping and ball rolling. In some form or another most will be included  somewhere in my day.

Another thing you may have missed about me is that I am voluntarily homeless. To date and for almost 2 years I have lived with friends or strangers almost full time. Although this will change once the BAM van is done for now it has me couch-surfing full time which means many witness my self love sessions on the daily.

One universal truth holds true when others see watch me day after day host my self love sessions and that is their comment about the vocal part of my workout. Everyone says it sounds like I am making love. To which I respond, "I my body."

Little did I know until this kept happening that I truly was making love to myself.  Not only was I doing it, but that I was damn good at it. The art of making love I have on lock.


How do I know I am good at the art of making love?

All of the millions I spent on western medicine bullshit were directly connected in a large part to physical therapy. The good news is that I paid attention and learned the many tools that live in my "Bag of Tricks" and keep me a walking miracle.

The art of making love for me is so perfected this gal has zero out of pocket health care costs associated with movement. No PT, yoga classes or massages. This is how I know I am damn good at the art of making love. One time not that long ago and for decades this stuff cost me $730/weekly. Today I spend zero because my love making sessions are so on point it is an art.

In addition to what I do on my own there are tools I use that support the art of making love:

  1. The MS Gym (on Facebook): This is s private page and not limited to MS only although it is the focus. Trevor & Misty Wicken are the founders and all I can say is the work happening in this room contains one of the most important steps in tapping your BAM and that is moving and getting to know your body.
  2. RAD Rollers: Are a system of tools to help you to perform the healing modality of self myo-fascial release. The fascia are connected throughout our body and often get stuck to the bone. By using the tools RAD Rollers offers one can work the fascia themselves to move better in their body. This work is essential to use my hands and feet on a daily basis. In addition my neck , jaw and head are greatly supported too.
  3. Yamuna Foot Wakers: I have had this lover in my "Bag of Tricks" the longest. These little prickly 1/2 balls are just what the doctor ordered when it comes to needing acupuncture married to reflexology. I do a sequence on the wakers over about 4 minutes using my feet. This time offers a healing power that has been essential to my best life for almost 15 years.
  4. Knot Out: All sizes of these are in my "Bag of Tricks." I start big and work down rolling my feet and nothing has ever hurt so good. Loving my feet a huge part of my ability to use my body. It is amazing how connected your feet are to so much.
  5. Yoga Tune Up - Alpha Ball: I have all the different balls from this company, but find myself using the Alpha Ball the most. This is my IT band destroyer. I suffer from strong IT band pain on the daily and rolling on this ball is how I kick it to the curb. I have had the same ball for over 5 years so it is also longer lasting than other YTU balls which average about 6 months.
  6. Affirmat: I have had my share of yoga mats and need to be honest this mat helps my practice. Having wonderful affirmations on my mat when I am getting in and out of poses is my jaunt. I love it and have been a fan for 5+ years. You can even custom design your own. I love my Affirmat.
  7. Hula Hoop: My friend Crazy Amy gave me my hoop. I can tell you it is a portable weighted hoop made to fit my height. It is best to take a class to find out what hoop size works best, but don't be discouraged everyone can hoop. Size matters here! I consider this a great aerobic work out and fun.
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The real 'Art of Making Love' is a solo affair and a true union.

I lived for 49+ years not connected to my body behind it being a vessel. Today my body is my hero honored daily loving it for all it affords me with my diet and lifestyle choices.

This is the "Art of Making Love:" loving yourself with intention, adoration and respect.

Are you making love daily? If not 2018 is your year to perfect 'The Art of Making Love."

Not subscribed? Today is a great day to join the tribe & subscribe.

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Sexual Healing: G Rated


Sexual Healing: G Rated

Funny how when you live with disease the sex part of the journey no one ever really addresses. Shit no one talks about it if you are not living with disease imagine if your sex life may need 'modifications' due to an uninvited life partner? Oh my.

Truth be told there are little to no conversations around the topic of sex beyond the marketing of sex. How sad.

Don't worry this blog is not about sex directly. It is about sexual healing. With or without a disease many of us need sexual healing. In fact this gal only realized I needed a sexual healing because I had a disease.

This BOSS has always believed the real work of being a miracle happens between the ears. The conversations I have with myself are all that matter in driving my miracle status. I ask and answer the why about every step in my life to tap my miracle. Sex was no different.

Here are some of the questions that have rattled around in my brain over time that produced the sexual healing part of this miracle journey known as PaleoBOSS Lady:

  • What were "my internal conversations" around sex?
  • What was important to "me" sexually and why?
  • Had MS played a role in my sexual life? If so how?
  • Define sex as I understood it?
  • What was intimacy?
  • What was vulnerability?
  • How did I see my sexual future?

I really had no idea about any of this stuff prior to getting conscious about my life.

Sex was sex.

I always enjoyed sex, never lacked for a satisfying experience, knew what sexual roles & situations I felt comfortable with & thought myself worthy of an A+ rating in the sex department. I also agreed & knew that consenting adults the #1 rule sexually & felt I was fairly open from a sexual lens.

Yet once I started having a real conversation with myself about sex I realized sex defined by me had zero to do with any of this. My sexual healing had very little to do with the act of sex and everything to do with intimacy & vulnerability.

Intimacy mixed with vulnerability are my top 2 key ingredients to have a truly orgasmic sexual experience. Yes our bodies play a role, but are only a small part of the whole sexual BAM is how I see it.

The funny thing is I spent almost 50 years searching for the right "sexual" partner & little did I know that it was inside me the whole time.

Your 1st real sexual healing happens when you hang out with a party of 3.  Defined as me, myself & I or body, mind & soul. Tapping into oneself with true intimacy & vulnerability means hard work yet it lays the ground work for a sexual journey of nirvana proportions when sharing with others (or not).

True sexual consent is raw & flawed, spontaneous & abrupt, natural & elastic. Mastering your sexual power within allows ourselves to authentically develop & evolve our sexual self.

Sex should never be a one size fits all. Sex evolves as we evolve.

My sexual evolution prior to consciousness was filled with magazine & movie ideal's having very little to do with my needs & thoughts on intimacy while lacking vulnerability at every turn. Literally I insisted on sex in the dark hating my own body.

How can one ever be vulnerable when you cannot even look at yourself naked?

Sexual healing starts with you & the conversation you have!

  • How do you see yourself when you are naked?
  • How do you feel when you touch your body?
  • How you treat your body?
  • How do you think of your body?
  • What makes your body happy?
  • What doesn't gel with your body?

Take time to really get to know you. If you have not in a long time reintroduce yourself. Get comfortable with your needs, wants & desires knowing that sexual energy is natural, necessary & healing. Get some & let the sexual healing begin.

Shocked it was G rated? Not me. Sex talk in 2016 involves a narrative that is new, raw and welcome.

For more narrative shifts subscribe to the weekly newsletter. Join the conversation & up your volume.




How to Touch Yourself


How to Touch Yourself

By: V Capaldi

Knew this headline would raise an eyebrow or two. Hang on because this is exactly what we are going to be talking about.

How to touch yourself! 

Funny how many have never really touched themselves.

I mean really touched their entire body. Every inch of it from head to toe.

"Touching myself slowly, with feeling, honor and respect are a daily ritual in the life of this miracle & have been essential to my current miracle status."

Living in complete conversation with your body sits at the core of any miracle life. Without mutual respect coupled with extreme self love miracle status is not accessible. The end.

I am always aware of my bodies needs because I ask it daily & assess throughout the day.

When was the last time you...

  • Knew what it felt like on the right side of your body vs your left?
  • Assessed if movements on each limb offer the same result on each side?
  • Became consciously aware of both sides of your body noting if they offer the same feelings?
  • Noticed if your strength is equal on both sides of your body?
  • Noted what happens if you walk on your toes?
  • Became aware of what happens if you walk on your heels?
  • Stood on your toes? If so, do you need to hold on?
  • Touched your toes? Can you touch your toes?
  • Touched your jaw, face or cheek bones? What did you notice?
  • Became aware of what each finger feels like when you touch it? Each toe?
  • Felt your ears & around your head?
  • Rubbed your elbows & knees to see how they feel?
  • Twirled your wrists & ankles in clockwise & counter-clockwise motions noting how they felt?
  • Did a squat?
  • Got up and down from a chair? the floor? What did it feel like? 

Focused movements & consciousness of being are 2 key ingredients to a miracle status. How one brings this into daily routine is the journey we all get to decide.

"Dancing, yoga & self myo-fascial release with the intention setting power of angel cards are my "go-to" daily rituals that support conscious body awareness for this boss."

Dancing allows us to access physical & mental states in an effort to support our individual needs for the day. This fun & easy routine creates a perfect storm for self love & movement without the stigma attached to morning rise & shine exercise.

"If you ask & act while listening your body will speak with very clear messages. Responding is the powerful force that elevates one to true empowerment."

Dancing happily is the goal.

When this outcome is not accessible more down time may be needed with a strong potential need for increased mindfulness & breath work. When smiling at the mere thought of dancing you may want to focus the day's attention on area's of life that involve a more active role of your time. Viewing the day in such a manner shows the power of dance to play an important role as a valuable lifestyle tool.

My popular solo morning raves offer me a vehicle to customize a personal plan for the day to support my goals.

A morning dance session has the ability to rearrange an entire day of you are open to the possibility. Living with disease or not if a morning dance does not make your body & mind smile it might be time to stop, drop & rest.

If for whatever reason my body & mind do not appear to be aligned with the goals of the day without question a "day off" is granted. Last time I checked nothing matters more than a healthy body & mind which means allowing for down time an easy step in the role of a self loving goddess.

How to really touch yourself:

sit, stand, lay down. who cares. have water handy & drink it. now get busy touching yourself

  • Align/comfortable/focused/shoulders down/chin & belly tucked/breath/head to sky/feet to ground/opposing energies/breathing/note/mentally/ spiritually/physically/relax
  • Rotate wrists/feel/sounds/compare/reverse/repeat
  • Ankles/rotate/clockwise/counter/repeat/feel/compare
  • Knee to chest/breathing/note/repeat/both knees
  • Hug yourself/hard/tight/feel/shoulders/down or up
  • Hands above head/reaching sky/feels like
  • Crown of head massage/ to base of skull/push/pinch/rub/note/compare sides
  • Touch ears/pinch lobe/feel sensation
  • Jaw line/pinch/chin to ear/feels like/repeat
  • Head side to side/note/even/uneven/rotation/note/repeat
  • Rotate head/clockwise/counter/feels
  • Shoulder start/squeeze down to fingers/ feeling/both sides
  • Fingers/pinch/3 spots/palm
  • Feet/pinch/3 spots/rest of foot
  • Rotate wrist/feels
  • Legs to ankle/note/feel
  • This entire process takes about 10 minutes done with intention

The longer you engage in touching yourself shorter focused time will be required.

I am uber body aware crediting both yoga & self myo-fasical release as the strongest tools in my "Bag of Tricks" supporting this.

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