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Self Care

Stop Helping Others First


Stop Helping Others First

I am not kidding.

Do you know how many people help others without owning their own shit?

I know I was one of them.

In addition to being an enabling parent who was more than willing to drive to school 5 times in one day when my daughter forgot something I was involved in everything from the MS Society, local community organizations, volunteering at school, fund raising for 1/2 dozen charities a year & all of this with a body that was increasingly struggling with the devastation known as Multiple Sclerosis (MS).

Of course when MS progressed to disability I had the perfect excuse why I found it hard to take the best care of myself. Clearly I was busy.

Healing to the level of miracle status involves helping yourself 1st and foremost. It is only after we care for our own needs that we can truly help others and this my friends was the hardest lesson for me to learn.

I think my therapist of many years told me each weekly visit to realize if there was a book that listed the amount of time someone should spend helping others I would have exceeded the average limit so that I can take a break to focus on myself. My response was bullshit and I could not have been more wrong.

When I moved to California I decided to resign from all volunteer stuff and any optional commitments. Already disabled and my health failing quickly I was beyond desperate and almost way late to the party. As luck would have it once I took time for me the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady started to happen. Little by little I was able to create the space for my healing & help myself.


Finally I owned my life 100% by committing to helping myself & miracles began to happen.

It is amazing how once you start to live in harmony with your body, mind and spirit how illness both mental and physical start to appear differently almost on a daily basis. For the 1st time I started to feel like I had a role and was not simply a victim in waiting. MS had always felt like it was the BOSS & once I moved to CA to begin my healing journey for the 1st time I felt like I was becoming the BOSS of me.

By the time I was blessed to find the work of Dr. Terry Wahls where I quickly became the BOSS of my life & my body.

My health was in such poor shape I cut myself off from the outside world and began to hibernate desperate to find answers. I was waking up regarding life & how I lived it to the point of realizing my life was toxic in its current form and I needed to make major changes. Even with the commitment to work on myself only I still needed to wake up and own my life. Stopping being of service to the community was not enough. I had to own the life of V in order to heal.

Once I was able to own my shit I was able to begin the process of being the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady.

In order to help others we must offer our personal best. Without bringing your "A" game you are simply sacrificing your best life in order to please another which although this my seem admirable it is not a good look. Not at all. All to often I see people who are sick and suffering forgoing their own needs to help others. This is diversion from owning your life no matter how you slice and dice it. All of mankind would be better served if each of us were healthy, happy and awake. The autopilot of life sets us up for sickness, disappointment and not the best quality of life.

Now don't get it twisted I am not talking about roles that happen outside the home only. As I mentioned my enabling behavior as a parent offered the perfect excuse as to why I had no time to heal. How we live in our own family also comes into play when we are striving to live our best life. No parent should ever put the needs of their children first although we are taught this.

Remember you put your mask on first in the event of a plane emergency. This holds true with our needs beyond the plane.

So how do you begin to make this change? Slow, steady, sustainable steps wins always. Find ways you can begin to remove yourself from anything that takes your eye off the self love ball to begin owning your role in sickness and health. Just as we have a hand in our wellness we have the same hand in our sickness.


Stopping the autopilot of life & giving 100% to our life purpose creates the space for the magic of healing to happen. As long as we give without having our house in order we never truly can tap our BAM.

Trust me I know because I live my BAM every day as a walking miracle who got here by owning my life. I believe in you to do the same.

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When Healing Hurts


When Healing Hurts

Strange concept that when you heal from anything this can cause great pain & heartache. The pain of relationships is what I am talking about. Alienation, jealousy & anger are often the result of healing especially if you are a miracle.

I wrote a blog awhile back about being addicted to the chaos of MS & how personally it was hard when I no longer identified as someone who had MS 1st & foremost. I personally struggled with this new outcome for myself & was astonished by this.

Today's post is about how healing hurts regarding relationships.

When my life was unmanageable & MS seemed to be winning I began to make drastic changes to help live my best life. At this time I was asked to be in a 'family' wedding as a bridesmaid. I was still very sick when the bride & groom asked me to join the bridal party & had been about a year into my conscious life journey. 

About 4 months after accepting with excitement to be in the wedding I made the decision to shave my head in an effort to save hand usage which was now at a premium for me. When the bride to be found out she literally begged me to wait until after the wedding stating folks would think I had cancer as I walked down the aisle.

I was like so what if I did have cancer does this mean you would not want me to be in your wedding?!?

To make matters worse for this bride I had decided to no longer wear toxic make-up on my body especially my face. Learning there was almost zero regulation of the chemicals used in the cosmetic industry clearly made this choice a smart next step. Bridezilla hired a make-up artist which I refused to use for the "big day." She was livid especially after delivering each member of the bridal party a 13 page excel spreadsheet of how & what was excepted of each member of the bridal party.

To keep things the most exciting I was about 4 months into my Wahls Warrior journey & requested to have a Paleo meal at the reception. This was received so poorly the bride contacted her soon to be mother in law upset wondering why I agreed to be in the wedding which resulting in a pleading call for me to drop out of the bridal party after buying the dress & paying for alterations all simply because I was trying to save myself. Remember all of these choices were to heal my body, but everyone else saw them as me simply being difficult.

This was the 1st time healing hurt.

When I first started my healing from MS using diet & lifestyle I attended every conference I could to learn more. I reached out & made connections with almost every leader in the field to gain as much 1st hand knowledge as possible to kick MS to the curb. Along the way quickly learning MS was not the only thing many globally where healing through consciousness.

Almost immediately I ran to share this news & information with loved ones suffering from Lupus, RA, Diabetes, Autism, Cancer & the list goes on. Each time being met with no response, anger or completely being cut off forever. Many stating that they did not want to hear about my journey at all & to simply keep quiet. Even though their health & well being continued to decline almost daily.

This was the 2nd time healing hurt.

As the years have gone by with my healing clearly being miraculous the distance between me & many grew wider & wider. I remember being on vacation with a group of friends about 2 years ago where someone rented a house. I chose to bring my own food much to the organizers dismay. I simply packed a cooler choosing not to participate in the group shopping everyone in the house was contributing too.

The organizers were not happy & tried to pressure me into participation & contribution many times. When it was clear I was not going too they became hostile whispering like high school girls the entire vacation about my actions.

My presence clearly threatened their choices especially when you can no longer deny how good I look & how much I was kicking MS to the curb. In addition my brand was growing & the community I represent getting stronger & louder with each passing day.

This group even went so far as to alienate me almost the entire time. I knew after one night this was going to be the last time I would be in their company knowing they would never include me again. I was right & have never been invited since then. Remember all of this simply because I chose to use lifestyle choices to live my best life.

This was the 3rd time healing hurt.

In the last year my healing from MS has taken a huge upswing. I have had huge leaps in my ability & this body is doing things it has not been able to do in almost 30 years. I look younger every day, my weight is optimal & literally I run like a well oiled machine. No one not even strangers can deny that I am simply glowing while radiating the picture of health.

Over the last 5 years I have stopped eating gluten, dairy, grains, sugar, no longer smoke or drink alcohol, go to bed at 8pm waking at 4am, meditate every day, move for a few hours daily, get vitamin D, grounding energy and consult my angels for the win.

These changes are DRASTIC to say the least & have changed everything about my person. In addition the brand I started known as PaleoBOSS Lady has grown to be over 50K strong with close to 1 million global impression weekly & I am considered an influencer in the world of consciousness.

As of the writing of this blog I am several months into a USA tour supporting the community I serve based on moral obligation alone. I am a minimalist whose ever possession fits in my little red fiat.

Quite honestly I am the best version of me for the 1st time in my life!

There is no doubt this is true with confirmation coming almost daily from the global community I represent. In fact last week I gave the talk of my life as a TEDx Speaker. BAM.

In the last year I had a family member share with me a dream they had of having children was not going to be possible. They found out there was a problem that traditional medicine was unable to fix. After a few surgeries they decided there was no hope of full filling this life long dream. We both sat devastated about this news.

In typical me fashion I decided to consult Dr. Google to find out more. As luck would have it one of the leaders in conscious living had the same situation and I knew him. I dug a little deeper & was able to confirm diet & lifestyle changes could support the dream coming alive again. With great joy & tenderness in each word I sent an email sharing the news offering to do whatever I could to support & connect the two to change this narrative. I never got a single response to this email. Never heard a single word. Silence.

This was the 4th time healing hurt.

Most recently during the week of my TEDx I was met with anger, resentment and jealousy by two individuals who were once family. Each one showing their true colors in different ways, but so painfully blatant I was no longer able to do nothing. For those who are not familiar with a TEDx it is a great honor known as the talk of your life & a huge accomplishment to be an invited speaker. One of the proudest moments of my life to date.

Each of these individuals gave a different reason why attending my TEDx was not going to work for them. One was simply too busy as they had been for the last 5 years regarding anything I did & the other was simply standing in unison with the 1st.

However the 2nd chose to add elements of torture to my person with days of insults, badgering & negative talk after inviting me to stay in their home before announcing their decision not to attend the TEDx which came the night before with a bogus excuse. Days after & when they could no longer contain themselves beyond torturing me mentally for days they shared they hated the person I have become over the last 5 years and how I had changed.

It was true I was no longer the person they knew 5 years ago. I was also damn proud of myself in every way & worked my ass off to get here!

5 years ago I was sick, scared & crippled by the devastation known as MS. Today I am loud, proud, applauded, a sought after speaker & influencer in the conscious living world. This BOSS is no longer needy. My fear driven life over with all pain and suffering gone from my body. I would say I am quite different!

I am a freaking miracle & the one of the most healed from MS in the world all due to my hard work & tremendous effort. 

I told busy bee # 1 to go fuck themselves while passive aggressive #2 I packed my shit & left their home after having them throw things at me. Are you kidding me? The healing me which all are unable to deny brought out the true colors of each individual.

This was the 5th time healing hurt & also the last.


It was also done by the hands of those who dealt the 1st healing hurt. How am i not surprised? I just wish I learned this long ago before enduring more hurts along the way.

Silly me to think this would change. There was no doubt my volume would increase as I continued to perfect my miracle status & this alone would cause further alienation. I just wanted so much to believe that healing would only bring joy to all who came in contact with me especially those who acted as if they loved me. However this is not the case. Instead the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady often brings a mirror to others they do not want to look into. Love often turns into hate, anger & extreme jealousy when outcomes are so great.

I chose to have none of this penetrate my being knowing my person provides hope to many, is selfless & of service to others.  There is no room for jealousy, resentment or anger in the life of a miracle only joy.

I have the great pleasure to be in front of the community every day & can tell you that there are ways to prevent the hurt from healing many of us may experience:

  • Lead by example only. No need to tell others or offer unsolicited support.
  • Those in your life who do not applaud your healing need to go. These groups never were cheerleaders during my wellness only sickness. Their relationships strong during times of weakness only show true colors & should have been noted.
  • Stay strong knowing you only have to answer to the man in the mirror. For everyone I have lost in life I gained 10 more supporters, friends & angels along the way. Do not fear the loss celebrate the gains.
  • Love yourself no matter what & vow to live your best life. Those who do not support your wellness are typically only interested in the 'me' of your relationship having nothing to do with the us.

I believe in you & will always be a cheerleader you can count on as you tap the miracle inside yourself. Namaste.

Oh shit I feel so much better simply sharing this pain I have endured. Clearly time to move on & I am once again grateful to be the BOSS I am knowing my life is elevated with each step I take.

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My Battle With Alcohol


My Battle With Alcohol


By: V Capaldi Thought that would get your attention.  Being raised by an addict I take the use of drugs and alcohol very seriously.

I have never done a recreational drug outside of smoking weed. I have been an avid user of marijuana for almost 30 years which equals my years living with Multiple Sclerosis.

Drinking for me did not become a thing until my life on the road began at the age of 25ish.  I traveled and traveled and traveled to the tune of over 200+ days a year for over a decade. At the time I was building international tech companies which was largely a male dominated game.  In order to play "the game" you had to be where it all happened. This included many a cocktail hour, steak dinner, golf outing & strip club visits. Often. Very, very often.

Fast forward decades later & cocktail hour became my therapy.

It signified the wind down. The beginning of a 'deep breath' on the day.

Today I no longer drink.

Knowing with confidence I never will again.

I am still in shock over this reality, but my relationship with alcohol is over & it has been a battle.

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make a wish copy

Not a battle of addiction a battle of numbing myself.

Literally alcohol was toxic beyond what it did to my body physically. Coping skills, stress management, higher purpose ideal's, self love & important shit like that are not in the picture when your daily "wind down" comes from a sip.

Even 1 or 2 glasses, a few days a week offered enough numbing that I was able to continue to autopilot 'dealing' with shit.

When you are a miracle you have to question everything. Over the last 5 years I have slowly been cutting alcohol out of my life. The battle began with conscious effort knowing I had a lot of mental healing work to do to win this fight.

A few weeks ago I drank for the 1st time in months. I had my usual tequila surprisingly not to excess, but I drank.

My body literally went crazy & became violently ill! Painful, violent, scary stuff. No joke friends. 

That is when I knew the battle had ended & this gal would have never ever have alcohol again. I love myself enough to have felt so bad for how I treated my body especially after all it allows for in the face of MS.  Why would I be so cruel to myself? Never again. Never.

The truth is that up until now I had no physical addiction to alcohol I had life routine tied to it. Routines that mattered in a huge way to my life:

  • Winding down
  • Taking a deep breath
  • Relaxing

I am certain my battle with alcohol is finally over because I have worked hard to learn how to: slow my role, have balance, breathe complete with a large "Bag of Tricks" filled with relaxation skills to support my higher purpose life.

If you live in harmony with your body & truly are conscious I have to ask is there really a place for alcohol in our lives? If so, why does a body react so violently to even a sip once clean living happens?

When your body is forcing it out like exorcist kind of stuff shouldn't that tell us something. Throwing up from anything is not good & booze tends to have our body do that in our lifetime. Veggies I do not remember ever doing that to me. Just keeping it real.

I am still healing from that false move of drinking this month.  This is not a good look for my body, but rest assured there is a reason I am a BOSS because when it is time to show up I do. ALWAYS!

Bye bye alcohol. It's been fun, but not really when I look back. Damn it.

Raising a few eyebrows am I? Or not. Who knows.

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Simple Steps to Say Bye Bye Alarm Clock


Simple Steps to Say Bye Bye Alarm Clock


By: V Capaldi Not much amazes me with my liberal anything goes hippie lens, but this one really does.  Most of society wake up to the sound of an alarm and hate it.  Even if it is their favorite song, the smell of coffee it does not matter the mere sound of something telling you 'it's time to wake up' is met with dread.  Yet we still do this day in and day out.

Society and consumer driven ideal's have tricked us into thinking our favorite song or the 'snooze' feature is the cure.

WRONG. #damnit

Why not train your body to wake up each day when you need it too?  What a concept right?

It can be done and I am certain many other than me have done and are doing this. A favorite professor I had in my BA studies shared he vowed NEVER to wake from an alarm and I thought shit I like that idea, but how the heck do I do it? Who does that? Well after years of trial and error this gal does that! #BAM

Like shaving my hair this is one of the most liberating things I have ever done!


Lets get started:

  1. Higher Purpose: Freaking have a reason to wake up that you love! Can we all just please start here! Define your higher purpose and live a life driven with that goal always in the mind's eye. Long gone of the days of autopilot living. With a global world that is technology driven we can all pretty much define our lives by location, desires and purpose.  If you have not begun this process I would recommend a few of my former blog posts to help support your journey: and
  2. Love the sun and moon. Literally begin to adjust your life to the cycles of the sun and moon: a circadian rhythm. This allows your body to start automatically producing the hormones you need based on light and darkness. Establish a rhythm to life and sleeping that mirrors the sun rise and set always accounting for seasons and cycles. In the winter I personally sleep later as the sun comes up later. Spring I will gradually transition to earlier mornings.
  3. Mindfulness: Listen folks you cannot outrun the need for this in your damn life. Stop focusing only on food & fitness & ignoring mindfulness. There are so many ways to make this happen with all of them as always defined by you. Work in the garden, go fishing, take a walk, light a candle and even do nothing giving conscious thought to simply nothing.  You must create space for this to happen.
  4. Trust and be patient. It has taken me about 18 months of real dedicated work where I finally have 'no back up alarm' set.  Just in case I used to set one, but my body adjusted even for those rare 4am flights I sometimes have to take.  Amazing to even consider this reality, but it is true so once I knew that no more alarm was needed no matter what I chose to rely on pure faith only & it is working. I am officially waking up real cave man style now I guess.
  5. Blue ray blockers: Invest in amber googles and consider setting stop periods for blue light exposure before bed. This is a hard thing to incorporate and yet I tell you the benefits for sleep, reading and down time are HUGE!  Jump on this shit and make it a part of your life no matter what. Stop the sleep aid pill popping madness and own you shit by trying this on for size.
  6. Get moving: Make sure you are moving every damn day. Somehow time has to be dedicated to movement. Your body needs it to function properly and it also is a helpful sleep aid. Get moving if you are not already. Start with 5 minutes and build steps that are sustainable and real.

We all know the best things in life take time like a fine wine, a first kiss and some of the best things need to be 'nurtured' to happen properly.  Once you cross the 'bye bye alarm clock' chasam you will be proud every time you wake up! This truly is an amazing life changing achievement and narrative flip. Get some and #upYOURvolume

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5 Steps to Fight Winter Blues!


5 Steps to Fight Winter Blues!


By: PaleoBOSS Lady® #PBL It is that time of year where many finds themselves down in the dumps struggling with winter depression.  I have lived with family members that struggle merely due to the cycles of the sun and the moon every year no matter what.  Depression is real and affects more of us than not. Sadly our hurried lives create an almost perfect storm all the time for depression to foster existence. #damnit

I was reminded of a blog post I wrote after obtaining my Masters degree:

"For the last 15 days I have becoming more and more depressed. This coming from someone who in 51 years only has identified with depression once and that was when my life became disabled and my partner walked out!

Last week when visiting with my therapist I cried from the moment I walked in the room. I have been feeling overwhelmed and on an emotional roller coaster. Asking myself over and over again, "What are you doing with the 30+ hours weekly you have free now? Basically having the "What am I going to do with my life now that I graduated conversation!"

Saturday while spending the day with my daughter I literally told her at least 10 times I was struggling emotionally. This type of conversation never happens with this mom/PaleoBOSS Lady because I am a rock damn it! Not this day…" #PBL

A little more than 3 weeks left of a winter everyone!  Except for those of us in California the winter  has had most of the country in below zero temperatures.   I am sure physical and mental wellness are being tested for many and this blog is an effort to help.

5 Steps to Fight Winter Blues:

1.  Community!  Do not kill the messenger and if there is one thing you will learn is that community is the foundation for everything good in life.  Without it you cannot and will not manifest your reality. Sorry but this is the truth!  Identify a community and make it part of your life.  If you are a dog person find a dog community, play cards find a card club, love to walk find a walking group and so on…Just pick one and JUMP IN!

2.  Get moving!  YUP! Move your body with focused intention in some way everyday! Listen I know we are all busy I also know we are talking optimal living here and if you are not moving you are not living. Movement can be as simple as saying good bye to elevators, parking further from an entrance, walking around the block after lunch/dinner. Whatever it is identify it, commit and move your body!

Dancing always is a great idea and nothing better than this to get things started!


3.  Meditate.  Studies have shown time and again that meditation offers only goodness, costs nothing and is a universal healthcare tool.  Yet almost all of us discount its power which for me speaks to the power of big business. Hence I am drawn to this practice even more!

Everyone can find a meditation practice that works to support a healthy outcome. Meditation is not limited to sitting cross legged and not moving.  Allow yourself to explore all different types and forms  of practice until you find the one that fits into your "Bag of Tricks."

4.  Journaling.  The traditional rules of journaling do not apply to the life of a BOSS Lady with limited hand use.  I use an app called TimeHop which serves as journal for me.  TimeHop sends me a daily email of all social media posts I have made for like 5 years.  Literally this is therapy for me and my idea of journaling…today.

Journals are an evolution and have changed each year, but always serving as a record of where I was mentally & physically at that moment.  You can write them, draw, paint, type grow what ever works for you is a journal you just have to be able to recall the moment when needed.

5.  Eating & sleeping matters.  When you are down food becomes a drug and sleep can be either too much or too little.  PAY attention and commit to eating clean and optimal sleeping hours!

The internet and social media offer so many tools to empower all of us regarding both of these topics & can reflect each of personal needs if we look.  I like to eat Paleo and my sleeping patterns follow the cycles of the sun. Whatever it is identity your relationships with both and make it a focus of your daily life to eat clean and get some rest!


One of the healthiest things you can do is drink bone broth daily. I call it liquid gold!

Check out my recipes for Bone Broth that my friends at Breaking Muscle helped me to share:

To create change one has to pick a starting point. Riding the wave of life is the optimal reality however not sustainable.  Our bodies are powerful creatures and we often need to help them to live optimally.  As you know I believe in slow and steady wins all life changes so maybe pick one and start there.  Just start! #doubledamnit

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Simply put…a blog about poop


Simply put…a blog about poop


By: PaleoBOSS Lady™

What the hell am I thinking right?  It is Monday, a holiday week & I want to talk about poop!  I know, but I cannot help myself.

My dog Rita has been on a raw diet for only one week.  Within 2 days I noticed changes to her poop which translates to she barely poops!  At first I was concerned thinking she is blocked or the food is not agreeing with her.  Yet I could not deny her bright shiny coat, that Rita is no longer eating herself to death with hotspots, her breath is a little sweeter & her energy increased!

I immediately went to Dr. Google to find out why her poop was missing!

Funny as I reading I found myself reminded of my Paleo journey.  How my body had transformed in quite the same manner.  Many of you have heard me refer to my body as a 'well oiled machine'.  I know crazy for a body with MS to be referred to as this, but 100% true.

Once I started using food as medicine the body of PaleoBOSS Lady started to function effectively & like clock work!

Poop is what your body no longer needs!  When eating a Paleo diet your body uses all the food as energy and nourishment! There is little to no waste!

Amazing how it only took 48 hours for my 12lb little hotdog I now call "Raw Rita" to remind me how food is an energy source for the body! If you put what your body needs in very little comes out.

Quite simply: when you eat processed shit you shit!

No one needs to get a medical degree to know when their body is or is not working properly.  I wonder how many really know what a properly working body feels like?  With 80%+ of the foods in our diet processed I bet not many. Before Paleo this lady & her dog didn't!

As PaleoBOSS Lady I live to #inspire #engage #empower you every step of the way.  If you like what you read, please subscribe to my blog & share it with others!

Thank you so much and pay attention to your poop! It is always telling the truth!

What is in poop video: