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Change the Narrative

My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Healing Journey

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My Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Healing Journey

  • I never knew I had PTSD.
  • I never realized my Daddy’s violent outbursts were from his PTSD as a WWII hero.
  • I never realized how much PTSD had negative impacts on my health.
  • I never realized my PTSD comfort came from food.

PTSD: A mental health condition that is triggered by a terrifying event.

My mom was a prescription pill drug addict my entire life. She had moments of sobriety, but they were brief and often ended with large increases in her addiction. By the time I was in high school she was addicted to drugs, alcohol and gambling. She also was anorexic and vomited almost everyday.

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My dad was a WWII hero who was drafted on his 18th birthday. He was shipped overseas and served in active combat during the war. Awarded a Bronze Star for his bravery he suffered from server PTSD and often yelled, screamed and got physical with my sisters and mother.

I was never hit which is another blog topic.

I do remember the one time when dad strangled my oldest sister so hard around her neck it looked like she had a string of hickeys. The vision is as clear as day. My older sister was putting something in the oven and said something to my dad, which set off him lunging & grabbing her by the neck in a fit of rage.  He was literally strangling her and had to be pried off to get him to stop. I thought my sister was going to die from strangulation by my dad.

I always felt bad for both of my parents. They were great people simply victims of their upbringing.

  • No one recognized PTSD in the healthcare world during my childhood.
  • No one knew my dad was suffering from something he could not control.
  • No one knew what is was like for my dad to watch men be killed on the daily and what fearing for your life when others are shooting at you everyday is like.

My mom became an addict at the hands of doctors. She lost both her father and a foster sister within years of each other. Both tragic endings for two people my mom loved who also had hard lives making their untimely death an even harder pill to swallow. Doctors gave my mom opiates.

Her life of addiction began at the hands of those she trusted. Her doctors.

I remember when Michael Jackson (MJ) died and they released the drugs in his system it took me right back to my childhood. I knew all those drugs. My mom loved them all. She also had doctors she could manipulate like MJ to get whatever drugs she wanted. It was a sad, horrible existence that eventually took her life at the age of 55 due to liver and pancreatic cancer.

  • I used food for comfort most of my life. 
  • Feeling terrified started when I was born and ended at the age of 50.

Recently I helped a family in need and there was a sibling late night argument that included screaming and yelling. It was before the BAM van and I was staying in their home. This triggered so many PTSD symptoms I could not believe it. Here I thought I had solved my PTSD issues along with my miracle status and yet this trigger sent me way back. It was eye opening. I immediately had to open my "Bag of Tricks" to get started using all of my wellness tools to stop PTSD from triggering a negative unhealthy chain of events.

How do you heal from PTSD? Do you heal from PTSD?

The first step is realizing you have it. I did not know until I was in my 2nd marriage. when a therapist told me. My husband suffered from bio-polar disorder and had severe paranoia. It triggered and enhanced my PTSD.  I was traumatized almost daily by his words yelling and screaming about things that were in his mind only. I could see the changes on his face long before he expressed knowing I was in trouble for something I never even did. I lived in fear and he had many guns in our home and was an expert shooter which scared me even more.

Mental illness is hard no matter what side of the equation you are on, the victim or the one suffering.

I was seeing a wonderful therapist twice weekly and learning so much when I learned about PTSD. MS was winning at every turn and I was about 50 pounds over weight at this time. I could barely move my body and my marriage was a huge challenge with not much hope insight. My husbands bipolar was becoming increasingly hard to live with and my PTSD was at an all time high.

When my therapist mentioned PTSD to me and it was a HUGE blessing.

Realizing that a life filled with trauma came with a whole host of unhealthy outcomes literally gave me a path to healing. One time when my mom was in a rehabilitation center she paid for our family to have a weekend retreat to heal. One of the doctors told me that I will know when I have healed from the trauma of my childhood when weight is no longer an issue. Even he knew I had PTSD, but never really came out and told me.

Not going to lie I was pissed at the doctor when he said this. Only because I did not understand what he was really saying.

Food is my comfort and eating is how I self soothe. Many sucked their thumb I turned to food. The idea that PTSD was a driving force in many of my choices opened up an entire healing journey for me. It not only gave me insight into my actions, but more importantly it helped me to forgive both of my parents. This happened while they were both alive for which I am most grateful.

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Most treatments today for PTSD are prescription medications. I am not anti-drug, but I have not used this route for healing. Instead I took a more holistic approach.

My TOP 5 Healing Approaches to PTSD:

1.     Therapy – I love a good therapy session. Throw narrative therapy into the mix and I am one happy camper. I believe my therapists over the last 20 years helped pave the way for healing coupled with my hard work.

2.     Community – You know me and how much community is the ground on which I stand. Being able to talk with others who had similar experiences or simply a listening ear cannot be measured in value. Priceless.   

3.     Gut Health – Healing my gut diminished my anxiety attacks almost immediately. I went from the girl who lived on Xanax to no anxiety at all.

4.     Yoga – No words to describe the healing powers of yoga. There are so many direct links to the power of yoga in my life and managing PTSD is one of them.

5.     Meditation – Free and accessible meditation is key to helping quiet the mind to help decrease stress and deliver calm.

PTSD is treatable with conscious effort and actions. I am grateful today that I recognize triggers and have tools to help me. I am sad my parents did not get the help they needed simply because they suffered in silence.

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The American Dream is a Fu*king Lie

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The American Dream is a Fu*king Lie

The American Dream as I know it is that the person with the most money & expensive possessions wins. Why else do we have 3+ car garages that are filled with stuff and our cars parked in the driveway because there is no room? In addition stores like Costco so we can have tons of everything in mass quantity. 

Once again I call bullshit on the fucking American Dream.

I lived the consumer driven American Dream. Was raised in a working class family where we had a nice life, but tons of struggles financially. My mom was an alcohol and drug addict. By the time I was 30 I had earned my 1st million dollars and at 35 was worth several million wearing 10+ carets of diamonds with a diamond studded Presidential Gold Rolex. I had live in help, my kid in the finest school in the state, only designer clothes while traveling at least monthly & only first class 4+ star hotels. Rags to riches baby and living the dream right?

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I was miserable and my body self destructing at every turn as my financial worth & possessions grew.

Once you have money and possessions the world becomes a much different place and I don't mean easier. Tons of folks simply worry about not having money and most struggle to have genuine relationships with others.

Money changes quite honestly everything and not having to worry is not one of the things.

It is funny how for me personally money changed my thinking. Made me less genuine and much more materialistic. It got to the point where our household monthly financial burn was over $25,000. If we wanted it we bought it. If we thought it we did it. Literally for most of my adult life I was living the dream.

The larger my ability to be a consumer grew the sicker my body got.

I thought achieving the American Dream would be the ticket to happiness. Instead it was the ticket to paranoia, superficial relationships and having way too much stuff. I was buried under possessions I hardly used. Shit, I had a craft room which only at Christmas time did I ever step foot in this room. Yet it was outfitted with everything you neededd to make any type of craft any day of the week and yet I used it with my daughter for the Christmas holiday only.

What the fuck.

Many American families have more cars than drivers in a household. I was one of them. We had a 4 wheel drive, sports car, family car and date night car. We were not alone in our neighborhood everyone had the same. Every house needs more cars than drivers in 2018 it seems. I see this all over America as I tour so it must be true.

What the fuck.

When I grew up we had 2 cars with 5 drivers and one was a company car that only my Daddy could drive. So literally we had one car for 4 drivers and somehow it worked just fine.

What happens with the consumer driven American Dream is that it only benefits the companies whose stuff we buy. It does nothing to help us be happy, healthy and secure and in fact it does the complete opposite.

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You see when you have tons of stuff it keeps you in the cycle of having to work hard always to pay for this stuff.

I remember when I was running big tech companies I would encourage staff to buy expensive cars with their bonus checks because I knew if they accumulated debt they would continue to work hard to pay for their expensive possessions. This was taught to me by the CEO and President of a company I worked for and encouraged by the board of directors at our yearly planning meetings. They would tell me to keep encouraging the sales staff to spend on big ticket items so they work hard to hit their bonuses each year. Bonuses they now need to live their expensive lives filled with possessions.

Not going to lie I often feel sad about this part of my life and my actions.

The real truth is that this is what America is built upon - 100% consumerism. Simply look at credit card company growth and their marketing tactics. Somehow these companies have us believing that using a credit card is the way to "free" airline tickets and we all buy into this fucking lie which is the greatest marketing scam there is. Put money on a credit card to get points for a FREE airline ticket. There is nothing FREE about these tickets and yet we ALL buy into this fucked up marketing scam saying "I got my ticket free with miles."

Once again I call bullshit.

Today I live in a van with minimal possessions at the American standard of poverty. I am also potentially the most healed from Multiple Sclerosis using ONLY diet and lifestyle in the world. I am living an American Dream. The one that no one talks about. It is actually a life dreams are made of.

A life lead by purpose, fueled by community & nourished by Mother Nature.

Today I live my life with hardly any stress. I am a minimalist who has more than enough. I see nature as a place I need to be daily. I move my body freely and without pain by offering it daily meditation, mindfulness, conscious movement and have applied the art of bio-hacking to my foods and most of my life. I serve others and have true friends all over the world. None of this involves consumer driven anything. Zero. Nada.

This was not possible when I was living a consumer possession driven life because that life keeps score. When you live a life of purpose there is no score keeping because you are driven by ideal's and not stuff.

The person with the most stuff actually does not win. Sad to be the party pooper.

Winning is living your dream and if your dream happens to net you financial freedom it is what you do with this freedom that defines you. Do you buy more shit or do you use it to drive an outcome that fuels goodness and not a 3 car garage filled with shit from Costco so you have to park in the driveway.

  • Possessions do not deliver joy.

  • Possessions do not deliver health.

  • Possessions do not deliver purpose.

  • Possessions do not deliver true friends.

  • Possessions do not deliver best life living.

For those suffering from anything, physical or mental issues please know that the consumer driven American Dream stands in the way of your healing. It does nothing to help you tap your BAM. I know because I lived it.

Defining YOU and YOUR best self does and this has nothing to do with consumerism.

I wake up with joy in my heart and excitement for every day. Do you?

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Harms Reduction for a Sugar Addiction

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Harms Reduction for a Sugar Addiction

It is so funny that I constantly have 'brick hits forehead moments' regarding my food journey. I remember after two years of eating consciously I finally thought to look at my dogs food. Took me two fucking years and the brick really hit hard on this one.

Why so long I often wonder?

Recently I had the same type of moment regarding my approach to the famous sugar addiction. As many of you know sugar is my drug of choice. It has been years since I have had refined sugar in my diet, but not natural sugar.

I am still addicted to sugar.

Each year of my healing journey I have made small strides in overcoming my addiction. From consumption to psyche I have been proud of the progress even though baby steps. Slow and steady is the constant mantra in my miracle life especially when dealing with things  I am truly addicted too.

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Both Cigarettes and Sugar have been a true harms reduction approach.

I used to eat a pound of honey a week the first year I gave up refined sugar. I had not control and did care to change it. I knew I was going through hard core withdraws and decided harms reduction was the only way I was going to quit my sugar addiction.

Honey is less harmful than refined sugar in large quantities.

Examples of common harms reduction techniques are nicotine patches and methadone. Both used to help decrease the effects of addiction offering a less harmful approach using a taper method. This approach geared toward helping both the body and mind adjust at a slower rate than the all or nothing approach.

My addiction so strong I need the taper if I want to overcome. I learned this early on in my journey and have never been ashamed of it.

Not going to lie it is still hard. It is hard being an addict of anything. Sugar truly has shown to have a strong hold on my body & mind. The cycle is vicious and each year I believe I get closer and closer to the end of this addiction and hope within the next few years to be done with it.

I have struggled from time to time with the societal norms associated with overcoming addiction. These types of thoughts produce nothing good and have also been a part of this healing journey. Whenever I find myself saying things like "Why is it taking so long?" and "You are still having way too much fruit" I check myself.

Too much fruit is progress.

The last step in my journey to quit smoking came from the help of a talented Hypnotherapist. On my birthday this year she happened to call me sharing she was staring to consider Paleo and looking for resources. Sasha also shared in her work she noticed just like cigarettes many have a sugar addiction. Believe it or not she developed a method to overcome this addictive behavior and was releasing it this year. BAM. BAM. BAM.

Thank you life for once again for always providing. I am pretty sure hypnosis will be my last step in the sugar addiction journey and for now I continue to mentally prepare myself and work toward lowing my intake with healthy, baby steps.

My Harms Reduction Sugar Addiction Timeline;

  • 2012: Stop all refined sugar replace with honey, dates, maple syrup
  • 2013: Start doing Whole 30 challenges for a total of 2 challenges completed.
  • 2014: Continue with Whole 30 challenges for a total of 5 challenges completed.
  • 2015: Focus on Ketogenic approaches and begin fasting 12 hours
  • 2016: Start doing Whole Life Challenges for 8 weeks for a total of 3 challenges. Begin juice fasts and longer fast times. Start only eating seasonal fruits.
  • 2017: Give up maple syrup and honey items except for special occasions or recipe testing. Start 3 day bone broth fasts and 16 hour daily fasting/ 3~5 days weekly. Limit banana, apple and pears.
  • 2018: Increase 18 hour fasting, add more 3 day bone broth fasts, increase berries and decrease melons, mango's and figs.
  • 2019: TBC...

This my friends are my harms reduction steps regarding sugar. I learned by year 2014 that my addiction was strong and I was unable to maintain zero sugar after challenges. Any type of sugars triggered almost bulimic tendencies. After many failed attempts at stopping long term I realized I was truly an addict and needed to start a path of harms reduction.

I will update you all on my journey toward hypnosis and in the meantime hope a harms reduction  approach might inspire your journey with food.

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Community is how we change the narrative regarding healthcare.

BAM.

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Disease Does Not Define You

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Disease Does Not Define You

This lesson was one of the hardest for me to learn and I actually did not even know I had to learn it. Literally for years I always referred to Multiple Sclerosis (MS) as "My MS." I hear so many who still do this and it reminds me how far I have come.

Using the words 'my MS' creates a level of ownership through language that does not create the space for miracle status. In fact it does just the opposite and sets you up for failure. I know it did me and by the age of 37 I was declared legally disabled and unable to earn sustainable income.

Learning how words and thoughts defined my life with MS was a huge lesson I learned in my late 40"s and it has produced great outcomes. Thinking about language in this way created for me the first ever truly objective space for healing by removing the word "my" from MS. Finally I was able to see MS separate from myself.

When someone is talking about issues of addiction to say "I am an addict" brings with it huge societal and cultural norms that are not always easy to own. The simply phrase "I am an addict" brings all kinds of negative thoughts just by using language in this way. Now if you would please Imagine for a minute saying "I struggle with addiction" instead there are almost no negatives and it is also outside of your person.

See how the simple change of language offers less 'baggage' and now can be viewed objectively and outside of one self?

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It is not 'my MS' instead I struggle with MS. MS is one part of my person and it is not who I am. These are just a few of the lessons recognizing the role language plays have brought to my life. Literally set the beginning stages of MS no longer defining me.

For years no matter what it was some how MS took front seat to every event or occasion. When I was invited anywhere my first thought would be how is MS going to handle this. So strong were these thoughts that I failed to remember the reason there was an event. My life was MS absorbed, paranoid, fearful and getting smaller by the minute.

Being invited to a wedding, graduation or even a birthday party always came with way too many thoughts about how MS was going to handle this. So many that it often made going out and engaging in life pretty impossible. This extreme response was felt by friends and family and began to limit the number of invites we were receiving. Little by little MS was taking control of everything by defining who I was.

An invitation would start the checklist of anxiety with thoughts like:

  • Will there be stairs?
  • Do they have air conditioning?
  • How far is the bathroom from the main room?
  • Will they have a buffet or sit down meal?
  • Do I need to hold a plate?
  • Will it be outside?
  • How will I wall walk if it is outside?
  • Will they have a tent for shade?
  • Will there be chairs for me to sit or will we be standing?
  • Is parking close?
  • Is the driveway flat or slanted?

I would be so wrapped up in thinking of all the hurdles MS offered that I could not see things like:

  • I didn't get out much how grateful I was for events where I can see many at one time.
  • The reason for the gathering and/or celebration.
  • Gratitude to be included as many invitations stop coming when you live with chronic disease.
  • The joy you get from having a night with friends and family.
  • That life was meant for living and my disease was making my world a life of fear driven realities

I am not saying that ignoring things that support your well being when an invitation comes is the alternative. I am saying that disease is only one part of our life equation and for many of us it can grow to be the only a part which is never a good look.

When i had full time help my assistants mother had MS and it had her almost blind and 100% dependent and bedridden. Sitting in a wheel chair was even hard for her. She was awake and aware with trouble speaking most days.. This however did not stop her from going out to dinner with family and friends to their favorite Mexican place in Venice Beach. Quite often you could find her attending weddings and events. She even came to a fund raiser I did supporting MS.

Clearly MS was the 1st thing you knew about her simply because of how she looked & her wheelchair, but once you met her somehow MS was invisible. Her zest for life in spite of MS was contagious and did not defined her.

How is this possible?

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Stop focusing on what you can't do and always start with what you can do.

I could not be in heat or cold for many years. It would bring on crippling outcomes and for years I would worry about temperature issues. This limited my ability to say yes to invitations because I was afraid to risk it. Sadly there are ways to deal with this and somehow I could not see them.

  • I could attend events at optimal times for temperature management.
  • I could wear a cooling vest or neck wrap.
  • I could dress in a way to support my body temperature issues rather than for the occasion.
  • I could go to my car and heat up or cool down if I needed.
  • I could rest up all week for the chance to engage with community.

I know that I have control over how my body responded to MS based on my choices. These choices were not limited to how I moved, ate or slept although a huge part of the equation. Instead they where choices made in how I thought about those things and most things in my life. When all of my acts were focused on MS I stopped living and being V. Once I began focusing on loving myself and honoring a life with MS I was able to have living define who I was and not MS. BAM.

  • I don't do yoga because I have MS. I do yoga because my body loves it.
  • I don't eat healthy because I have MS. I eat healthy to fuel my body for another day.
  • I don't not hula hoop because I have MS and need cardio. I hula hoop because it is fun and helps on long drive days.

Language creates the lens.

Listen to how you speak to yourself and the steps you take to deal with chronic disease. If a step is identified because you have 'blank' begin to think about ways you can change the phrase to create a space for living.

Disease does not define you unless you chose this for yourself.

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How to Add Cannabis to the Medicine Cabinet

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How to Add Cannabis to the Medicine Cabinet

As many of you know I have been using cannabis for the treatment of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) since diagnosis in 1987. Even though for decades I was breaking the law by using cannabis its health benefits were so important to my well being that I felt it was worth the risks.

When I was first diagnosed with MS there were no disease modifying drugs or a standard of care treatment for MS beyond addictive pain killers & narcotics. My mother was a prescription pill addict my whole life so I quickly said no to any drugs the doctors offered instead turning to essential oils & cannabis to help my initial symptoms of muscle spasms & limb jumping.

To this day I use cannabis even though many of my symptoms have left the building due to diet & lifestyle choices.

After my healing began as a faithful Warrior who follows The Wahls Protocol I was able to go off of over 24 medications for the treatment of MS. I thought at this time I should also stop using cannabis. It became clear after about 12 weeks that cannabis was helping me with more than the symptoms I originally thought.

Little did I know all that cannabis was managing outside of diet & lifestyle.

I have scary issues with my throat due to MS. Sever spasms or becoming rigid as we call it in MS. Literally it is like a 'Charlie Horse'  that most often happens with your feet, but it is your throat. When I stopped using cannabis throat symptom returned as well as a low level of anxiety. Both of which I thought my diet & lifestyle choices had healed 100%. It was not until I stopped using cannabis that I learned how much of a role THC had in healing these two important symptoms.

Even though I am a Wahls Warrior who is a walking miracle I continue to use cannabis for the treatment & management of MS.

One of the most common questions I get regarding cannabis is where to begin. Many of my tribe reach out to ask how to get started. I wanted to give some insight into the process & some best practices using cannabis as medicine.

Most important to note is I am not advocating anyone step outside of the law regarding the use of cannabis. Although this was how I operated for many years exclusively until 2006 when I moved to CA where medicinal cannabis was legal. Today recreational use is also legal in CA & many states around the USA. 

Strands: There are 3 varieties of cannabis & they are either strands called Sativa, Indica and/or a hybrid. Each one offers a different medicinal tool.

  • A Sativa will help you stay active & alert offering an overall calming effect. I find Sativa helps to calm your mind while allowing you to function without feeling high.
  • An Indica on the other hand offers an overall body effect often inducing sleep & a large sense of relaxation. An Indica strand is great for pain & sleep.
  • Hybrids are a mixture of both Sativa & Indica typically having one higher in concentration than the other. Depending on which is dominant defines the type of effect. Hybrids are classified as either Sativa or Indica dominant.

It is important to remind ourselves that we are all different & our bodies are the ultimate source of information.

When offering medical cannabis in most states it is required that the community have options for usage beyond smoking. Below I will outline the different ways most states offer cannabis to the consumer.

Edibles:  You can find cannabis in edibles of all kind from pop to brownies & even infused butters. I personally do not recommend using edibles without checking the ingredient list. Many are filled with sugars & things that do not support a conscious life. The standard dose is 10mg of THC per serving with many edibles offering more than one dose.

Edibles can take on average one hour to feel the effects. Many times edibles are hard to manage due to dosing not being exact producing an outcome that is powerful for some & not effective for others.

I strongly suggest when using edibles to put the day aside to see how your body reacts. I have learned that everyone is different & there is a learning curve that is quite individual. Only when consuming edibles have I had experiences that felt like I was tripping & produced a negative outcome. However there have also been times where the use of edibles have delivered exceptional results.

Due to the nature of unpredictability of edibles I advise to plan a day at home where you can ride the wave until you are able to have the correct dosing.

Tinctures: A sublingual form is also available which are called tinctures. This is another method for using cannabis that is easy & very effective. Although they are the least used form of cannabis they are still very powerful.

Tinctures are liquid forms of cannabis that include THC which can be administered by putting a few drops under your tongue. Tinctures are easily absorbed with many feeling the effects within 15 minutes of using. This treatment is quicker, easier to regulate & often more effective than edibles. I have personally found great success with tinctures even though I prefer to smoke bud.

Vaping: Cannabis is also available in Vape Oil. Vape oil is considered the healthier alternative to smoking. The THC & CBD oils are extracted & often added to coconut oil. Vape pens are needed to administer the oil by heating it up for smoking.

Vaporizing cannabis has been shown to not have the same negative effects on the lungs that traditional smoking does. However one has to pay attention to what is added to the cannabis oil for vaping. Some companies do add unhealthy chemicals that make this method not a good choice.

Cannabidiol or CBD oil: CBD oil can be derived from both cannabis & hemp. I am going to talk about cannabis derived CBD oil here. This oil is known to have lots of health benefits without any of the psychoactive effects of cannabis most often derived from low THC strands of marijuana. Many use CBD oil to help with pain, tremors, cancer and ADHD.

Hemp oil derived CBD oil can be purchased in every state in the USA & is much different than cannabis CBD oil. This type of CBD oil has shown great promise in helping dogs & autism. Hemp oil is much different than a cannabis CBD oil and should be noted as such. Hemp does not contain any THC making it a very different medicinal tool that is quite effective.

How to Get Started: Check the laws in your state/country to find out how to legally use and/or grow. In 2017 over 26 states have legalized cannabis for medical uses in the USA & 7 for recreational use. However it should be noted that marijuana is still against the law at the federal level and legality is a state decision only in the USA. Being informed regarding the laws and potential risks are highly recommended.

Medical license: For most states a doctor visit either in person or online is required to obtain a medical license. I have been able to get this from all kinds of partners in my wellness team. My 1st license back in 2006 came from my gynecologist and cost about $225. Today in California you can get a license for about $35 from brick and mortar & online establishments that have a doctor on staff for licensing only. It simply is not as hard to get as it was in 2006.

Licenses are good for one year. Once you are legal your information is put online for the dispensary to verify prior to purchase in states where medicinal only is legal. States with recreational use do not require a medical card, however if you have a medicinal need discounts are typically offered making a license advisable & cost effective.

Dispensary: This is where you go to get cannabis in all forms talked about. Most dispensaries have at least 10+ strands plus an assortment of edibles, oils and the tools needed to use cannabis. I highly recommend you talk with the staff (bud tenders) about the best route for you to take. Cannabis is very individual & each strand is different not only in name but in THC, CBD strength. Bud tenders are trained on strands just like a sommelier is on wine. They are very knowledgeable & should be treated just like any member of your healthcare team.

You can find dispensaries online via Weedmaps or simply google for storefronts. Some states like CA have delivery which makes life easier, but also increases the value of a trained bud tender to give you insight into what strands are working the best to support your needs. I value the role of those working in dispensaries & trust their insight & knowledge.

The use of cannabis is still controversial for many. I am sharing my 1st hand experience & knowledge based on the huge role it plays in my life with MS. There is no doubt in my mind that the medicinal benefits have been extreme in helping me tap my best life in the face of the devastation caused by MS even when I was dealing with the stress of breaking the law.

I simply cannot impress upon you enough how much cannabis has been the #1 most effective treatment for living with MS. Even in the face of the miracles that have happened with diet & lifestyle cannabis still holds a huge role in my ability to live my best life.

For anyone who believe that it fries brain cells & produces addiction I am here to call bullshit.

I have better cognitive than most & am not an addict with over 30 years of smoking weed. If you want to talk about brain cells dying and addiction we should look at big pharm & booze.

Not going to lie I am sure this blog post will raise some eyebrows.

For those who can be open to living life outside of cultural norms I hope this post helps guide your best life journey.

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BAM.

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The Role of Your Past

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The Role of Your Past

I am not going to lie I live in the narrative world & after years upon years of therapy have finally been able to understand the role the past plays in my life today.

Nothing.

Now don't get your panties in a bunch & hear me out. Sure the past can often be stamped into our memory so strong we cannot seem to forget. My past was nothing short of being filled with gut wrenching hardship & truly remarkable joy. Yet neither of those define who I am.

As someone who did a TEDx on the power of culture to influence life you might think otherwise. Just as my culture has had a role in the person I am it does not define me.

I define me.

In a narrative world respect for the past is understood yet it strives to re-tell your own story. I sat many hours in a therapist office hearing how the past was responsible for my current story. I beg to differ believing that the I get to author my own story by constructing new meanings to emotions, thoughts and outcomes from the past. 

The past does not define me.

As someone living in community invited into people's homes & having the opportunity to be vulnerable with each other I hear quite often how the past is the reason for this or that. "I am this way because when I was raised..." are common responses to why things are the way they are or why growth is not happening.

As I shared in my TEDx "Cultural Collision" I think many of us choose an autopilot existence allowing for the past to become a scapegoat for all things important in tapping our miracle life.

Once I began to get conscious with the who, what & why of my life story the past became a story that I got to rewrite & not one that defined me. Multiple Sclerosis (MS) used to define me until I was able to realize the story is not written by MS it is written by me. If MS was defining me it was because that is what I allowed for.

My mother was an addict which for many years did define my life. Even in therapy all the hours spent were often talking about the role having an addicted mom played in my life outcome. I felt like I spent years in therapy talking about mom & her why which produced nothing to help me tap my best life. Instead it provided me with 'reasons' for my struggles offering zero tools to rewrite the story.

I say hogwash to that.

The narrative of my life included an addicted mom this is true however the story I tell is mine regardless of how my mothers life was defined. Her actions are her life.

My actions only define & are responsible for my life.

I personally believe that once we can start to realize we are the only creators of our story can we tap our BAM. As long as we let the actions, idea's and outcome of others share in our narrative we are going to be unable to raise the roof on our own lives.

Autopilot living which includes many cultural norms make it impossible to have a narrative that is a path to your miracle life. We each need to recognize the past as a script that we get to re-write so we can define our journey and not as the reason for our why.

Your story today is written only by you not your past.

Not going to lie this concept has been so freeing for me similar to ditching the scale & no longer counting calories all of which were cultural norms I adhered to for far to long.

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Balance in Imbalance

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Balance in Imbalance

Times today feel somewhat out of balance. Especially for those troubled countries at war in any definition. America as a world leader is in transition & balance not the status quo. Each day we are being faced with moral issues involving our rights & our government.

Somehow we became a divided country overnight. Somehow we became out of balance as a community. Somehow my balanced life is grounded on imbalance.

This division in America shook my core. It put me in a place where I was scared my wellness plan was not going to be enough to continue to support kicking freaking Multiple Sclerosis (MS) to the curb. It is times like this I am thankful for my "Bag of Tricks" filled with resources to help maintain balance in my life when the outside world is running on empty.

Daily I run to my "Bag of Tricks" to see what resources I have to support this imbalance in my American life. Here are some of my favorite tools to keep balance in an imbalanced world:

  • Mantra's: Repeating statements like "I cannot control the actions of others I can control how I live my life." I love to say things out loud & believe this helps to manifest our dreams. It also helps to 'fake it till you make it."
  • Meditation Apps: Thankfully I use the app Insight Timer. I love their guided meditation option which I have been using for each meditation post election. I still have not been able to tap the calm of silent meditation so the app's various guided meditations are essential to my wellness during the current imbalance. Having a mind that is talking all the time & hard to silence during these times of unrest in the world make this app a life saver for me.
  • Essential oils: The use of oils have been a proven winner since the late 80's in my life & continue to have a strong hold in my "Bag of Tricks" offering help no matter what life throws my way. The beauty of diffusing oils is they can be customized to support the needs I have each day and time of day.  Oils help with energy, calm, clearing the toxic air, breath work and so much more I find a solid supportive use for essential oils everyday. If you spend any time with me you will know I am always diffusing or burning something. The air I breath is a conscious & huge part of my wellness journey.
  • Dancing: When they say dance like no body is watching that translates to mean dance like you are in the club on the bar to me. Literally I am a dancing fool and this part of my day has became essential to both my mental & physical wellness. There are days when the club is too much & I like to simply feel the music with lights out and candles lit while moving without thought. Sometimes simply moving through the emotion of the song & feeling the moment is a wonderful alternative. Dancing should offer the space to be free from thought beyond self expression of the music & how your body feels it. Dance. Dance. Dance.
  • Music:  Simply listening to music I find is the heart beat to the soul.  I love picking my intended feeling for the day & have it reflect in my musical choices. I am someone who gets 'hooked on a feeling' often playing the same collection of songs over & over again. Seems I stay with certain thoughts for long periods of time. I try to let the tempo define my mood & this is how I pick the music I play. Even if I am not dancing having music playing for me is a huge wellness tool. Not going to lie my childhood songs are my favorites from the 70's. I prefer to have my memories at the beach in Brigantine, New Jersey.
  • Narrative Change: Something new & challenging needed to enter my life now that the imbalance in America is a daily reality. I had to focus more on good than bad outcomes. Defining my role in this transition was key. Once I was able to realize what self help tools were going to support this journey I was able to begin changing the narrative back to balance in my life regardless of what was happening around me. A new narrative has been a key to wellness which sometimes means simply creating the space for change.
  • Bliss Boards: Sure vision boards help to manifest your vision, but doing a bliss board reminds you of the things in life that fuel your BAM. Consider having a Bliss Board party to fuel your soul & bring community into your journey. Community. Party. BAM.

Sure I voted, marched & sent postcards, but that simply is not enough for me. I also decided every action of my life will reflect who I am & the community I serve. This was solidified in my person. The next step was the most important.

I needed more to keep my wellness plan in check when things outside of my immediate life were spinning out of control.

The loss of friends & family alone have been huge since the election in America. In all of my 53+ years I have never once witnessed such a divided country except during Vietnam & I was too young to understand. This time in my life I knew that I needed to make changes in me to 'off set' the changes I could not control. The current state of affairs in America presented changes to my personal life balance & stood to shake up my wellness plan without me realizing the effect would be so great or really preparing.

Having a "Bag of Tricks" once again proven to be a key resource in my miracle life.

Times are changing globally with our food & water systems being threatened daily & our governments changing constantly. There is not much we can do day to day beyond excellent self care, conscious living & creating change in ourselves. Once we are able to master our own purpose than we can have an impact on the global outcome. However for most of us the 1st step it going to be to look in our 'Bag of Tricks' to identify the tools you have vs. what you need then to get busy making sure your person is on point & ready to lead by example.

Times of imbalance in our global world call for balance in our private life to be essential so we can continue to thrive no matter what life hands us.

Are you tapping your bam everyday? If not than it is beyond overdue for you to subscribe to my newsletter. Damn it. #crushingalwaysfree #upYOURvolume

Did you know weekly we are LIVE on the radio? Well you should. Every Saturday, 10am PST, The Up Your Volume, Morning show with Nicki Bove & ME! Raising the roof on the arts & conscious living. BAM. Join us live or subscribe on iTunes.

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My Battle With Anxiety

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My Battle With Anxiety

Never in my life did I think anxiety would be a crippling force for me. I always identified with my birth sign, Taurus the bull. For most of my life I saw myself as someone who has been overcoming obstacles since the day I was born because I was a fearless bull. 

Until I wasn't.

My mom was a prescription drug addict & my dad suffered from un-diagnosed PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) as a WWII war hero. The combination presented a very colorful & often hard childhood. Yet in spite of this I was an honor student & overall great kid. Never once did I get in trouble like most kids & even with my parents issues I was able to maintain a strong relationship with both filled with love.

I really believed I had it all together regardless of my childhood. I could not have been more wrong.

At the age of 23, I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis & this is when anxiety started to become a noticeable issue.

Google's definition of anxiety is: "a nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks."

I really had no idea I suffered from anxiety until it became so great I swore I was having a heart attack. When anxiety got so bad my heart would feel like it was going to beat out of my chest, I could not catch my breath & my body temperature would elevate leaving me to see this as symptoms of a physical issue not mental.

This was not my truth. My issues were 100% psychological.

Looking back & as early as I can remember I suffered from anxiety. Anxiety comes in many forms with phobia being one & this gal has the same phobias since childhood: I am afraid of heights & closed spaces.

I also lived on 'edge' most of my childhood into adult life which is another sign of anxiety. Almost fight or flight since birth is how I would describe it. When your mom is a drug addict you never know what each day will present & on top of that having a violent father meant mom's actions would trigger his frequent outbursts of violence.

I also suffer from OCD & have since early childhood. I maintain being a neat freak who cannot have things out of place. When I was a kid my part of the bedroom was organized every morning, my drawers neat & orderly plus I had many personal 'routines' that need to be adhered to or I simply lose my mind. All signs of anxiety yet I had no idea. In fact I was praised by my parents & grandparents for these 'honorable' traits as a kid. Like most kids my sisters were messy & always forgetting stuff yet my parents would often tell me how proud they were of my anxiety driven behaviors which often left me far removed from normal kid activities.

Last but not least I lived with crippling irritable bowel issues from childhood until almost the age of 30 & never once did a doctor share the trigger might be psychological.

You see my friends anxiety has been my partner for most of my life since childhood yet I had no idea.

When life got crazy & Multiple Sclerosis became my life partner anxiety became a much harder thing to ignore. Anxiety now meant a life driven by fear resulting in a feeling that I was going to die from a heart attack.

I was so overwhelmed it became impossible to function & Xanax became the answer. 

Doctors instructed me on days that I felt 'overwhelmed' to take Xanax so I did. This resulted in several days a week for long periods of time living on Xanas yet my habits, behaviors & thoughts did not change. Xanax simply made it almost impossible for me to 'get worked up', but did nothing to manage my fears.

I did not question that Xanax was a nothing more than masking symptoms & really was not aware of the fact that Xanax was not the right answer to resolve anxiety.

Today beyond being an extremely neat person I no longer have anxiety in my life or take any drugs for the treatment of anxiety.

What changed? How did this happen?

  • I woke the fuck up is what happened.
  • I took ownership of my damn life is what happened.
  • I know who I am is what happened.
  • MS no longer defines me is what happened.

By living a conscious life I have been able to make choices outside of the cultural & societal norms that involve changing the way I treat my person & my body. Using food as medicine is a great example of this. Being a Wahls Warrior following The Wahls Protocol created the space for my brain fog to lift enabling me to wake up.

A daily yoga & meditation practice have also fueled this journey with years of psychotherapy & community support added to my conversations around consciousness.

Anxiety in any form is crippling to many who experience it. I see more & more struggling with this in their lives. I would ask you to 1st look at mindful ways to get moving & consciousness regarding food to be the 1st few steps you take. It is hard to make changes & control negative behaviors when our body is not given the proper foods & love it needs to be the best version of itself.

Community support is always a great way to achieve any goals especially when stress triggers are present as with most anxiety outcomes.

Rome was not built in a day & consciousness takes time to change this narrative. Stay present, stay with it and believe you too will overcome anxiety in your life. Simply treating it with medication is not the only answer. Owning your life & your actions sets the stage to offer a life free of anxiety with many tools in your 'Bag of Tricks" to kick it to the curb for good.

Not subscribed to the blog? You are an ass then. LOL.

Consider joining the tribe & lets get conscious together. Community matters my friends.

#upYOURvolume

 

 

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The Art of Living Your Joy

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The Art of Living Your Joy

It was the last event I was doing in 2016 & one of the funnest nights of the tour. The guests were so engaged, excited & interested it truly was a great night. The home hosting the event simply breath taking & every detail spot on. I literally was walking on sunshine making my way to the car about to head out calling it a night. Tired yet so excited this was the last day of the tour in 2016. The next day Gidget & I would begin making our trip back to LA for a rest month. All I knew was that my heart was full & it was a great night.

Then a magical thing happened that I never saw coming.

One of the guests came out to the car to tell me I had really hit on something during my talk that was kind of a 'brick hit forehead' situation.

The moment I shared I wake up with joy in my person everyday.

The guest literally said hearing those words immediately brought their attention to their own life & they realized joy was missing. They had a lot to be thankful for, but could not remember the last time they felt pure joy.

The definition of joy is something like feeling happy or having great pleasure says Google. For me joy is being conscious about life.

Funny isn't it that by society standards I might be considered 'not a good look.'

  • I am homeless & have virtually nothing with my total possessions close to only 50 items.
  • I have no clear idea where I am going to be resting my head from month to month and cannot tell you what the future holds.
  • I live at poverty with a disease that is known to bankrupt almost 90% of those suffering followed by the high probability of becoming homeless or institutionalized.
  • I am single and alone.
  • I am a disabled American from the devastation known as Multiple Sclerosis.

Literally I see on social media almost every day how 'different' my life is than to almost anyone I know.

For the large majority of us by the age of 50+ our homes are close to paid for, kids almost out of the house, grandchildren beginning, retirement in sight, 2nd homes often purchased, yearly travel and marriages that are close to 25+ years filled with history, family & tradition.

For me not so much.

In fact my life could not be further from that if I tried. I spend Christmas alone and literally live a life that is mirror opposite to almost everyone I know.

Funnier to think I made these choices before me:

  • Being homeless is voluntary
  • Having less a desired outcome
  • Being single my mantra

My lens toward joy comes from truly knowing I am & have enough .

Truth be told looking at social media & being awake every moment of my life it appears that most do not have enough.

Instead they have possessions and many of them. How many have garages packed with shit? Closets you cannot open or better yet a storage facility because you have run out of room? The answer is a lot of us.

How many of us wake up each day excited?

Sad reality on my tour over 75% of folks did a job they were not 100% happy with. Imagine spending the bulk of your life not being happy with what you are doing. Jobs usually are the largest time suck when living in this energy space & most are not satisfied with what they do.

To make matters worse the resistance to change jobs almost always consumer driven.

Mad men winning often translates into loss of joy. Once we realize what the meaning of living a life of "enough" is all about you will begin to find joy. 

Getting conscious sits at the foundation of a joyful life. Knowing that each step you take & breath creates an opportunity to do exactly what you want at that moment.

A dear friend a few nights ago shared that at a recent trip to Rome they felt such a connection to the country because they were certain at that moment they were exactly where they belonged.

This my friends is enough. Knowing all in your life is right where you belong.

Living a purpose driven life starts with the belief that in this journey you will be provided for in every way you need. All you need will come so no need to worry beyond your purpose.

Joy in enough makes purpose possible.

This to me is a better look than consumer driven tales of joy.

Not subscribed? Damn it.

Join this group of folks I call the PaleoBOSS Lady tribe as we up the volume on life.

Cursing always free & no need to get your panties in a bunch.  Bad words are only words that are meant to hurt others.

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Are you a Fat Burner or Sugar Burner?

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Are you a Fat Burner or Sugar Burner?

The truth is I can pretty much tell you without even knowing you which way you roll. Are you someone whose body gets its energy from sugar or fat. Yup! All of this information can be known merely by asking a few questions. The truth is I never knew there was a difference until a few years ago. Learning this information has been the biggest BAM of my miracle status.

So lets find out about you: do you consume sugar & carbs?

If the answer is yes you are a sugar burner.

If the answer is no you still can be a sugar burner. Damn it.

Sad to say it is not the easiest thing to become a fat burner. Not because our body struggles it is because we struggle. Actually our bodies for most of us act happier when the energy source is fat.

I know, I know must of us are low fat consumers. We have been told time and time again that fat is evil and not I am saying that high amounts of fat in my diet was the biggest BAM to the miracle known as PaleoBOSS Lady. Would it surprise you if I told you the whole idea about fat being evil was a consumer driven idea? Meaning companies that stood to have financial gain from sugar sales were behind this concept.

The traditional diet of almost all humans tends to be heavy on the sugar, carbs and dairy and very low on the greens, protein & fruits. In order to be a fat burner you almost exclusively have to give up carbs and all sugar & consuming what may appear to be large amounts of fat.

For over 5 years I have followed a Paleo lifestyle. I have even taken it a step further and follow The Wahls Protocol. The Wahls Protocol differs slightly from simply Paleo. Dr. Terry Wahls developed a protocol that supports your body at the cellular level. Using a combination of 6-9 cups of fruits & vegetables offers our body mitochondria support and for many of us that results in transitioning your body to becoming a fat burner. The mitochondria are the powerhouse of the cells so becoming a Wahls Warrior means you are eating at the cellular level. Food is about nourishment to your body & no long based on taste buds alone.

Ketosis is the state your body enters when you are a fat burning fool and this is what I am talking about. Ketosis from an uneducated lens happens when your body starts to develop ketones. Ketones start to be seen in the body when you stop consuming sugar & carbs while increasing your fat consumption. Think Atkins on steroids.

I am no expert and this blog shares my personal experience. There are other things you can do to help Ketones arrive and to get in the state of Ketosis. Fasting is a huge tool many who enter Ketosis incorporate almost daily. For Ketosis many will typically ast about 18 hours between their last meal and their 1st meal. I personally do a daily fast on average of 10 hours a day. In order for my sugar loving body to get into Ketosis I am an 18 hour a day faster. This actually was the key to my 1st successful round of true Ketosis meaning it lasted for more than a few days.

Science continues to show that a state of Ketosis helps cancer risk, decrease inflammation, weight issues and overall health. Eating healthy whole foods, intermittent fasting combined with a state of Ketosis yearly have been my miracle script.

About 3 years ago I started my 1st attempt at Ketosis and failed miserably. My carb consumption was too high and fat not enough. I couldn't get it through my head that this much fat was okay. Years of being told the opposite made this transition hard for me. So I would say my 1st year was a learning experiment. I actually gained 15 pounds. Oh my.

I remember when I told Dr. Wahls she said to try again and to increase the fat and add fasting. Dr. Wahls also recommended switching the fat source from primarily coconut milk to meat fats or uncooked EVO. The next year I followed her lead and Ketosis was a much different experience for me. I lost weight, my energy was amazeballs while MS continued to run scared of my bodies power while in Ketosis.

I am not going to get into the steps to take for Ketosis and recommend you all spend a little over $10 to grab a copy of The Wahls Protocol. This book is not for MS it is for everyone. Level 3 is the one where ketones become your friends. This book belongs in every damn medicine cabinet & should be read if you really care about you and your body. Dr. Wahls work is approachable, easy to understand, ground-breaking & the only one based on human, clinical trials.

If you have never consciously been a fat burner it is time to consider doing it. Give yourself ideally 90 days, but 30 would be a great start. At the end of 90 days hit me up & fill me in on how you feel. If Facebook is your thing there is a private group called The Wahls Protocol which is a great community to support your journey.

I believe in you.

Thank you for subscribing to my newsletter. Means so much & I am grateful for everyone who reads my chatter.

Crush the week everyone. Namaste

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Suicide by Sugar

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Suicide by Sugar

I am at the plateau of my yearly sugar addiction. The one that really starts during cherry season. Yup you heard that right back in the summer months.

I love sugar. I am an addict.

Gave up refined sugar 5 years ago. Have never looked back.

I love honey, maple syrup & coconut sugar. A lot.

I also love banana's, apples, sweet potato, beets, carrots & all forms of foods high in natural sugar.

Never really missed refined sugar because I had replacements or healthy alternatives shall we say. 

Until...

They are consumed in excess. Which is my pattern.

A pattern that begins in July during the peak of summer fruit & cherry season. I begin to consume large amounts of locally grown fruits increasing my sugar consumption. Turning on the all too familiar sugar addiction.

Next somehow sweet potato's, bananas and apples are on the menu weekly. Sometimes daily.

Sugar. Sugar. Sugar. Love. Love. Love.

In anticipation of the festive holiday season yearly I begin to scale back consumption from Labor Day to Thanksgiving. Once Thanksgiving hits the Suicide by Sugar lifestyle begins in full force.

Holiday treats arrive & I am giddy which for me translates to Paleo cookies, dark chocolate, plus high natural sugar fruits and carb filled vegetables. Like a true addict I consume & consume beyond acceptable limits.

How do I turn it off?

Being a competitive prick is how I stop the Suicide by Sugar cycle.

Every January for the last 4 years I do a challenge that forbids these foods. Challenges long enough that I overcome the cravings all while regaining control of my eating life. When doing these challenges I don't cheat ever. I want to be a 'winner' aka in a top position on my team. Being a BOSS means you always play to win.

Community as always holding the key to success for this miracle.

I never get mad at myself for the natural sugar overload. I just wonder if it will ever change?

My addiction is obviously very real manifesting in a new way since becoming conscious.

Will the day come where sugar does not rock my world? Will a holiday season come without eating too much dark chocolate, Paleo cookies and pies?

Or will the cycle of Suicide by Sugar be a life long reminder of just how powerful this addiction really is?

Not subscribed to my newsletter? Oh shit time to change that.

Hit the subscribe button so you don't miss another post of BAM from this sugar addict. Have mercy.

#upYOURvolume

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The Standard of Care a Consumer Driven Machine in America

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The Standard of Care a Consumer Driven Machine in America

Standard of care: 1. A diagnostic and treatment process that a clinician should follow for a certain type of patient, illness, or clinical circumstance. (http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=33263)

The "Standard of Care" is what hospitals, doctors and clinicians are expected to follow when caring for individuals. It dictates everything & many who live consciously find themselves being informed of this standard by their healthcare team.

I have heard time & time again from doctors who have had their chief of staff talk to them about not following the "Standard of Care" when they talk to patients about using food as medicine.

To make matters worse many patients such as those with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) who refuse to take disease modifying drugs are being told by their doctors they will only see them until they have a relapse. Once they have a relapse if they do not go on the drugs the doctor will end their relationship due to legal liability based on the "Standard of Care" issue.

Healthcare in America offers standards that are tied to the use of drugs which dictate the current standard of care used by most doctors & hospitals. Using diet & lifestyle are not considered in this equation at all therefore deemed outside of the acceptable standard of care most doctors are allowed to follow. Imagine nutrition falling outside of the standard of care!

In fact cancer has a standard of care which is chemotherapy even though study after study shows sugar is cancers #1 friend.

My neurologist made it simple for me. When I started using nutrition to heal my body I was asked to sign a legal document stating my doc nor the hospital were liable once I stopped taking the so called "disease modifying" drugs for MS. To make matters even easier the drug manufacturer called to record me stating that the doctor did not advise me to discontinue so they too could cover their asses.

When a standard of care regarding our health rest solely on the use of big pharm you have to believe we are all fucked. Literally the consumer driven machine wins once again at our expense.

To hear a doctor tell you they will only treat you as long as you are willing to take the drugs is beyond unbelievable yet many who live with disease hear this time & time again. The system is not only consumer driven it is also legal liability dictated. The law coupled with big pharm dictating how healthcare is done is the standard of care hospitals, doctors & clinicians subscribe too.

Literally all of this is simply disgusting & once again confirms to me personally that our healthcare system has nothing to do with wellness.

I remember a good friend who is a very successful OB sharing that he delivers most babies c-section no matter what to keep his malpractice insurance rates low. Are you kidding me!?! Where does our well being fit into this equation?

I say this in almost every talk I give & have witnessed this in every city I have traveled that hospitals, surgery centers & urgent care facilities continue to grow, expand & rebuilt. They are making money & the machine continues to crank out more dollars to support the expansion. Doesn't this tell you something?

Healing, wellness & eradicating disease are no where on the business plan for any of these organizations. Growth, expansion & continued abuse of the public are.

Isn't it time you woke up to the reason why 1 in 5 are disabled in America, why autoimmune disease is the fastest growing sector, cancer rates continuing to sore & drug companies along with hospitals and insurers continue to grow all at our expense.

My life as a BOSS is dedicated to saying F YOU to the systems in place & the powers to be that took most of my life to date away from me knowing full well what they were doing and all in the name of the almighty dollar. Son of a bitch.

As someone who lived most of her adult life as a millionaire & now lives at poverty I can without question tell you the real power in life comes from waking the fuck up.

Having the balls to own your life, stepping outside of the cultural bull shit and opening my fucking eyes were the ticket to miracle status. My life today is filled with joy because without a doubt I know who I am, where I am going & why I am here by living a conscious life. Bye Bye autopilot living.

Trust me when I tell you no one gets the right to fuck with me ever because I am awake & in charge. Sadly the system & those in power set us up for failure when we play by the standard of care game in America. Healthcare in America is governed by big business & has nothing to do with wellness. Going to the doctor is predicated on an autopilot life & most of us freely subscribe to the bullshit. WTF.

There I go again talking my thoughts out loud. Sure you might be pissed off at what I say, but the reality is it is true. Don't kill the messenger. Time to wake up is my story.

We all know it & I am just being honest. You think any doctor that has me sign legal releases because I won't take the drugs after watching me heal before their eyes using diet & lifestyle cares about healing? No fucking way.

Not subscribed?  I think you should so you never miss a post by this lady who raises the roof on life with every mile I drive & syllable I write. Join the tribe & up your volume.

 

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Slow, Steady, Sustainable Steps

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Slow, Steady, Sustainable Steps

This is my mantra regarding conscious living. People always ask me how to start the process & I recommend you begin by having a real honest conversation with yourself. What can you do that will be sustainable for life? Not for today, a month or a week. A lifestyle change that you can commit to 100%.

Often our inclination is to go from 0 to 60mph. However history has shown that this will set us up for failure & we all kinda know this. Remember all the times you went from never working out to 3 days a week only to have it end within a few weeks or months of starting? Or the time you gave up ice cream before bed & it lasted not very long? You get my drift I am sure whether these examples are spot on or not that without clear motivation beyond the thought we are depriving ourselves failure is almost guaranteed.

Do not kill the messenger! Damn it.

Slow & steady wins the race. Remember the fable about The Tortoise and the Hare? Same holds true with conscious life changes. Slow & steady folks wins this one.

Really ask yourself & answer the question about what you can do that will be lasting & is a change you believe in to help live your best life.

Changes that feel like deprivation do not last for anyone.

  • Maybe start by committing to walking one day a week for 10 minutes?
  • Consider parking your car in the farthest spot for the entrance at the office, the mall or grocery store. Take the stairs instead of the elevator.
  • How about cutting sugar out one day a week.
  • Make each meal a rainbow of freshness on Sunday.

You get the idea. Simply do something that you can commit too!

Next begin asking yourself after a few weeks if you are ready to add a another day or make another change in some fashion. Always knowing that the change you commit too are lifelong. Not a diet, not for now, but forever. Your conversation has to include the forever part.

The 1st step in the conversation is to recognize this is a journey motivated by self love and nothing more.

Some BOSS thoughts:

The idea of food as a pleasure source is consumer. Yes folks it truly is based on principles developed by the manufactures of the shit they sell. This concept has nothing to do with best life living.

Consider the concept of breakfast, lunch & dinner. These idea's everyone at some point each of us have agreed are how we should eat during the day. To make matters even more exciting what we eat at those meals are also defined for us. By who? Those in power making this shit.

There is no healthcare reason why we eat 3 meals a day. There are no wellness reasons why bacon and eggs are for breakfast, sandwiches for lunch & a hearty meal for dinner. These are manufactured idea's that we all play along with. Double Damn it.

Our bodies are a like plants. We need water, sunlight & healthy nutrients from the soil to grow. Somehow we all have been programmed to believe we need only foods that taste good to live. I call bullshit!

This is just another example of consciousness that I hope opens your mind to what I am talking about. Ask and answer the questions regarding everything you do learning the reason why.

For me personally once I learned the system altered our foods knowing damn well gluten & sugar were addictive substances adding it to almost everything it was easy to say fuck you to the foods I grew to love.

That poison took almost half my life from me & I will be damn if it will take my final quarter.

Today I gleefully work out on my yoga mat daily paying homage to my person & life for another day. I meditate feeling pride connecting with myself & quieting my mind in this hectic world & every time I sit down to eat a meal I am literally giddy with joy that I can honor my body with nutrient dense goodness.

Not one ounce of me feels deprived or that I am missing anything.

Before getting conscious my life was all about being deprived. I was deprived of living a full life because Multiple Sclerosis (MS) was calling the shots. I lost years of being the best me due to real pain and suffering.

My daughter is a singer and has been performing her entire life. When she was younger having vocal classes etc there were many times I would be laying on the floor in the studio unable to move due to MS. These images live in my brain & haunt me often enough to know that those times will never appear again. My life as a mom will be full and rich because I give a shit about myself enough to know how to thrive. The heartbreak of not being able to be the best mom ever will forever be a distant memory because living a life of purpose & self respect delivers a miracle mom that no longer can barely be present.

Isn't it time you began the real journey of self love through consciousness? What is your 1st step going to be?

I believe in you.

Make today the day you begin to wake the fuck up & live YOUR best life. Stop letting the systems in place define your path.

Tap the miracle inside you & raise the roof on life!

Not subscribed to this curse filled blog yet? Today is the best day to join the journey of consciousness that raises the roof on YOU.

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When to Run From a Nutritionist

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When to Run From a Nutritionist

I don't know about you, but if I counted the endless supplements bought after seeing a nutritionist I could fill up a medicine cabinet plus have a significant increase of money sitting in the bank. Literally this would add up into the hundreds of dollars. Can you relate?

I remember this one time I saw a nutritionist & after one visit she loaded me up with so many supplement recommendations it cost three times the initial visit.

All of her recommendations were filled with shit I never continued or took for longer than a month. One product was touted to 'rebuild my myelin' which when you live with Multiple Sclerosis (MS) you're compelled to try. However all it did was rip a hole in my gut after gouging me for $75.

If you are seeking a nutritionist help for the 1st time to begin a journey using food as medicine beyond Vitamin D, a B complex & fish oil I do not believe they should recommend you take any supplements. Science has shown that most of us lack the above & taking them typically does not harm at least from this lens.

If they do I would run as fast as possible. This signals to me they make their living off of supplements & that is their profit center. 

When I started using food as medicine every nutritionist I saw pushed & pushed & pushed supplements all across the board. None of which can I tell you have contributed, aided or helped my food as medicine journey. Zero have had any impact on my miracle status.

The truth be told when you go from eating a traditional diet to a food as medicine diet your body is most likely getting a huge boost that will out way any supplemental benefit for at least the 1st year of hard core effort.

After about 6 months to a year I recommend then you have labs done with a Functional Medicine doctor or Naturopath to determine where your needs lie. Prior to this you are just wasting money & fueling the consumer driven machine of the professional you are seeing.

So often I have felt like seeing a nutritionist was like going to a time share pitch. They do a huge intake form to qualify your resources, have a long 1st appointment then hand you a sheet defining a list of things you need to spend money on.

Seldom if ever have I walked out of an appointment with a nutritionist without a huge list of things recommended to purchase. Each one has their own favorites as well.

One particular nutritionist seemed to have 3 Standard Process recommendations she offered everyone. I realized this after two of my friends followed my lead going to see her. Neither one of us had any of the same health issues even remotely & the reason she gave to each of us for the why we needed them the same. Say what?!?

When you begin a food as medicine journey and coming from an uneducated lens, but a miracle lens without question, I feel you should 1st just use food as medicine.

Again this is from the lens of someone who simply lives a miracle life managing MS through diet & lifestyle day in and day out. Not someone who learned from a classroom. My lens is real life shit. 

When one goes from a traditional diet to a food as medicine diet you now are fueling your body with nutrients it may have been missing from the processed food way of eating. Almost immediately this will negate the need to add supplementation until you have a few months of clean eating effort to be able to pinpoint where the gaps may be.

To have a nutritionist or any healthcare professional offer a list of supplements right out of the gates signals to me time to stop seeing that person & run. Their business clearly driven by this income stream having little to do with your well being.

I particularly would be skeptical of those who offer discounted 1st appointment rates as it shows another marketing tool to gain revenue on the back end which usually means supplements. Sorry not sorry & don't kill the messenger.

My miracle status using diet & lifestyle has had zero to do with any supplement or recommendations from a nutritionist outside of using food. Nothing has ever offered the results that being a faithful Wahls Warrior has which includes diet & lifestyle changes.

To think a cure comes from a supplement bottle is built on the same principle that our drug companies have capitalized on for years. I am here to tell you it is a lie based on the art of consumerism alone. I would run as quickly as possible knowing this has nothing to do with your well being & is driven by a back end revenue stream.

Oh shit looks like I did it again sharing a potential hair raising idea based on the art of consciousness coupled with 1st hand experience.

No need to get your panties in a bunch if you work with someone.

Just another blog from this BOSS asking you to question the why when healthcare professionals recommend supplementation without a starting point of nature providing all we need.

If you have not subscribed to the Oh it Gets Wild Newsletter today might be a great day. As always I continue to share 1st hand information that has lead to the miracle outcome I live every day as PaleoBOSS Lady. The end.

#upYOURvolume

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30 Day Challenges Suck

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30 Day Challenges Suck

Here I am once again talking without caution about how I believe 30 day fitness challenges suck. A girl who goes by BOSS usually has no problem speaking her truth. Sorry not sorry

Yes it is true I have done them all! You name the 30 day challenge & I have done it. 

I have done 30 day challenges for yoga, squatting, running, rock hard abs & to make my butt beautiful all in my recent adult life. Quite honestly I have done more than I care to admit.

With each challenge beyond completing the challenge I gave no real thought to what I was actually doing & what would happen beyond finishing the challenge. Sure I was hoping for 6 pack abs, a perfect butt & to be able to be a pretzel in yoga which of course never happened.

What did happen:

  • I over worked my body pushing if often past a comfortable limit
  • I did not listen to the needs of my body once during each challenge
  • I was driven by a desire to change my body visually

In addition if those challenges took place where money was involved they were purely consumer driven marketing idea's having little to nothing to do with wellness.

Anytime workouts are based on number of days, amount of time or reps you are disrespecting your body.

You see challenges such as this never have space for thoughts like:

  • Not today I am tired
  • Wow my body is sore maybe I should slow down today
  • How about we change it up today to allow the rest of my body to have some loving

The only space allowed is to complete the challenge no matter what.

The problem with a 30 day challenge doing the same thing is just that. It is the same thing. Nobody needs the same movement session every day & I was famous for this way of thinking. Especially because I have Multiple Sclerosis (MS) I believed this was important because at least I knew what my body could handle. FALSE & I call bullshit on my self.

Yes folks this was autopilot movement. Movement based on things that fall outside of listening to my body. Just like challenges. In addition challenges done with cost involved are purely marketing machines driven by revenue streams which could not be further from wellness.

This does not mean that I do not work out almost every day because I do. My body loves them, moves better & looks forward to our daily sessions. However today's movement sessions quite often start with a dance party to help define what they will look like. This simple fun step allows me to multi-task by offering mental support while identifying the needs of my body based on how it moves when I am dancing like a fool.

Workouts customized to support the daily needs of my body are the most respectful way & turn off the autopilot thinking. Most of us tend to follow a routine similar to this:  I go to this class M-W-F, run on off days while walking this many miles 5 days a week blah blah blah.

Where is consciousness here? Sure you may be driven by self love, but are you addressing your bodies needs doing this? NO.

After dancing I customize a movement session based on my bodies physical needs. My physical inventory coupled with a clear understanding of the potential demands on my body for that day help me design a work out that satisfies the daily voice of the body I love & cherish.
Yes this may include going to a class, taking a long walk outside or maybe both. Yet I never know until dancing what the outcome will be unless I am clearly having an issue that dancing does not need to happen for me to take note.

A 30 day challenge offers exactly the opposite. It requires your body to show up, no matter what being forced to perform. Trust me I have done enough challenges to know it is a struggle to find space for body awareness in any of them. However easy to find pushing beyond your limits in all of them.

I will call bullshit if you are sitting there thinking, "Well V you have MS so your body is different." Almost every challenge I have done with folks who are of 'normal' health & watched most end up with IT band issues, extreme body soreness often causing trouble functioning, foot problems & the list continues. Yet somehow these outcomes considered a badge of honor. WTF.

I encourage you all to take a 30 Day Self Love Challenge!

  • Wake up every day with a commitment to have a conversation with your body both mentally & physically
  • Plan your movement sessions around your bodies expressed needs
  • Show loving kindness with each movement paying attention to how they feel & what outcome they deliver
  • Be nice to yourself every step of the way driven by self love & not superficial consumer driven ideals regarding visual perfection

So the next time you want to challenge yourself for 30 days how about you consider a self love challenge that includes movement in some form every day. You just may find yourself simply dancing in the streets which is not a bad look for anyone.

Oh hell yes I have done it again. Addressed a topic that I am sure many are like 'Say What Bitch?"

No need to stop your gym membership or forgo your yoga class. Instead make sure that is what your body needs that day turning off the autopilot which often defines our workouts.

For more of my bullshit I welcome you to subscribe to this amazing newsletter. It comes out most often once a week & will always be certain to give you pause sprinkled with cursing.

#upYOURvolume

 

 

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It's a Family Affair

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It's a Family Affair

Okay folks believe it or not getting conscious about food is a family affair! Do not get it twisted thinking this is only the work of one in a household especially if the one is someone using consciousness to overcome a life hurdle.

Hate to be the asshole delivering the message, but what family member or loved one would not help you achieve a goal regarding an obstacle in your life?

When deciding to get conscious especially if you live with others this MUST include discussions, changes & support from members in your household. If not, success will be either short lived or unattainable. Sorry not sorry, but this is more than true.

For some of us sadly this is our escape route. By not including others in the process it provides a great excuse for why it is hard to succeed.

If you do not clean out your pantry of crap you will not succeed and the same holds true for your house. Yes folks anyone not willing to help support your mission is exactly the same as what is toxic in your pantry from this lens. This also has held true based on 1st hand coaching, working & supporting members of the community of conscious eaters.

Getting conscious about food is not a diet it is a lifestyle change. In order to change ones lifestyle for success the entire family needs to support this. Especially if the choices are focused on improving a health outcome.

What does it say about loved ones if they are not willing to support this journey?

What does it say about us when you don't include them in the why, how and the entire thought process around this decision?

For those who depend on others to prepare the foods needed to get conscious this question is even larger and more important to answer. If you are living with others who choose not to provide, support and work together with you to live your best life I would ask is that part of my health problem?

It blows my mind to see it time and again a fellow brother or sister unable to care for themselves & family members or loved ones who refuse to support diet & lifestyle changes for themselves or those in need of a desire to make these changes.

How freaking cruel can someone be?

Refusing to support a loved one who is suffering is unacceptable!

Yet sadly those in need often feel like so much of a burden they silence their desires filled with hopes of changing their outcome through conscious living.

There are ways to help make this transition easier for everyone. Simple steps that are proven to make a difference & help to begin the conversation of changes needed to up the volume on life & living.

We are Family Steps:

  • Whatever lifestyle changes are desired provide family members with the data, research and/or information that supports your lifestyle changes & talk about it. Answer any questions, concerns or comments they might have.
  • Be certain of you needs holding firm to your commitment of self awareness & need for change.
  • Set a time line for committed changes to occur without error & as a collective. (It is recommended 90 days to be the best timed effort for real changes to happen for any desired outcome.)
  • Collectively clean out the pantry reading all ingredients sharing new found knowledge.
  • Make it fun, exciting & not a lens of restriction. It is a freedom of choice & lifestyle.
  • Identify what you all will miss the most & find acceptable substitutes that together everyone works to make as a new alternative.
  • Find local support groups, meetups, bloggers, podcasts and/or social media experts who are sharing a similar journey you can all learn from.

I have found myself hearing time & time again "My significant other, children, roommate does not want to make any changes so it is hard." Which I always respond with "So they are not willing to help you potentially heal enough to overcome ________ because food is more important? Even for 90 days to see if your quality of life improves?" To which the response is often silence.

Folks you need to ask, explain & define all mentioned above so those who love you can understand the power of what you are asking of them. If after all that resistance remains than I ask you what is more toxic in your life?

Loved ones who do not support, encourage & help with changes to overcome a life obstacle may be the hurdle you need to overcome.

Damn it I have done it again. Raised an eye brow or two!

Not subscribed to my newsletter yet?  WTF! 

Join us for a weekly edition of the "Oh it Gets Wild" news!

I would love to have you share your thoughts, insights & wisdom so join the fun as we raise the roof on life & living. 

#upYOURvolume

 

 

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Living a Passion Driven Life

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Living a Passion Driven Life

I cannot believe that in 10 days the "Taking it to the Streets" Tour sponsored by Nutiva and Natural Habitats officially begins. Seems like yesterday I decided to make this all happen & now it is here & so very real.

Not going to lie until I am actually out there figuring it out I live in disbelief this is all really happening.  Sounds ridiculous I know, but the thought that this girl will be driving all over the USA seems unbelievable & yet is the basis of every action I take each day.

Yes I am still getting used to my miracle status.

As I put together spreadsheet after spreadsheet mapping out this journey I am overwhelmed with gratitude to serve my brothers and sisters. Little did I know when I decided to live a 100% passion driven life that I would be where I am today.

Almost every day someone asks me, "Is your body going to be able to do this V?"

Every time I stop & think silently for a brief second, "You crazy asshole this is never going to work." until I remember my history since living a passion driven life has proven otherwise.

Actually my passion driven life defies all cultural norms & continues to deliver miraculous outcomes so why the fuck can't I do this is the immediate next statement that comes right behind the negative talk.

What is a "Passion Driven Life" really many ask me?

In our global consumer driven world it is almost impossible not to fall into the autopilot of life living day after day with little thought or focus on our individual passion. Most are driven by bills, responsibility & cultural norms which have nothing to do with a passion driven life & everything to do with routine.

Trust me I was so very guilty of this for most of my life. Driven by stuff aka greed and defined by possessions with higher purpose being guided by these shallow ideal's. No wonder my body blew up with Multiple Sclerosis taking control.

Today I have zero. Merely 30 personal possessions, a leased car, dog, laptop & 20 aprons to use for cooking classes.

My life driven by moral obligation.

Reason does not come into play beyond safety & 100% pure self-love. This my friends is a passion driven life.

  • "Sure "V" sounds great, but I got shit to pay!"
  • "Tell my partner that V!"
  • "4 kids, aging parents and a mortgage say dream on."

I have heard it all. I lived each one out for years.

Until I had my entire body blow the fuck up punching me in the face day after day doing whatever it wanted while I was just taking each blow trying to act like a champ, but I am a BOSS.
  • A BOSS owns their life.
  • A BOSS is conscious & does not follow cultural norms.
  • A BOSS knows who they are.

I didn't. Somewhere along the way this BOSS lost herself. Forgetting who she was.

We all have had dreams. We all have believed if even for a moment we could do or be something that dreams are made of. I ask you to search inside yourself to find that place again. We all got that shit we just forgot about it or maybe put it on pause for a stay.

When you are ready to turn the passion switch "on" you need to tap that place again.

Search for it & once you get there ask and answer the questions:

  • If I got it all right in 1 year what would my life look like?
  • &
  • start mapping that shit out with the passion you just tapped.

For more on how to raise the roof on life you best be subscribed to my newsletter.

It comes out weekly with a blog & two more topics of interest that can inspire your miracle life so of course you will love it.

"Oh it Gets Wild" Newsletter rules is all I am saying so join the tribe. BAM.

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How to Love Driving in Traffic

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How to Love Driving in Traffic

Literally I love driving in traffic. Okay maybe not love in the traditional sense as in, "looking forward too."

A straight up 100% gift is the ability to sit in traffic.

For many years I could not drive due to the devastation of Multiple Sclerosis (MS) on my body. As of this moment this is no longer my reality. Literally having to pause as I type.

Sure you may think this outcome of traffic joy is only available to me because I have MS, but that could not be further from the truth. We all can have traffic joy or as my good friend Claire calls it, "Traffic Karma!"

The secret is in the lens having nothing to do with having a disease or not. Sorry to disappoint, but we can all LOVE traffic.

I remember vividly when I had my 1st DMV appointment in Santa Monica after moving to CA from Delaware. I was driving out of the parking lot & a woman thought I "cut her off." She immediately rolled down the window & yelled "I hope you die." I was shocked for days.

When you are 100% Italian you believe, practice and know 'The Maloik' aka the evil eye. This felt like the evil eye cast by a stranger rattling this Italian girl to her core.

I could not for the life of me figure out how to shake off this 'curse' that a complete stranger had so powerfully cast upon me.

Then the famous 'brick to forehead' returned & it became so clear. I had no idea what was going on in that ladies life. She could have just heard the worst news of her life. She could be sick and/or suffering in ways I could not comprehend.

I was a mean driver.
I did not wish others dead, but I yelled & used my horn a lot. Probably too much. 
I hated driving & found it a horrific task.

I literally started to embrace an empathetic heart after that experience driving at the Santa Monica DMV.

Do not judge.

We all get to decide our own "Bag of Tricks" & empathy work for me started in LA while driving. From that moment forward at the DMV I drove with a lens that someone could have just heard really bad news & needs to get in front of me, cut me off or yell at me. I however was no longer going to be that person.

Conscious effort to change my thoughts toward others bought a lens that every person driving "like a complete ass" may be dealing with the worst news ever. My role in this journey of driving in traffic was to send loving kindness to others with an empathetic heart. The end.

Say what! Where is V???

Clearly for many of us the frustration level traffic alone can produce is at an all time high based on personal experience. Having a stranger look you in the eye yelling they wished you dead was a powerful wake up call.

Rage in the car was my norm.

I was not wishing others dead, but cursed at a dozen of you on the daily with offensive wishes as a driver. My truth was not far from my friend who cast the evil eye on me.

Rage is rage.

Empathy is hard to translate when you are a BOSS. Having such a strong character often comes with a tough exterior.  That being said empathy although present may be hard to tap "on demand" especially in situations that occur during traffic.

When I lost the ability to drive I lost a practice that helped make me a better person: the practice of empathy.

Today I find myself driving on highways & NEVER EVER did I think I would return here.

The 405, 5, 101, 22, 10 are all my new BFF's. They are also always crowded. Traveling 20 miles during rush hour averages 2.5 hours & yet I love it.

At 1st I thought it was because I was able to drive again. The joy of traffic was driving & that is why I felt so alive when stuck on the 405. However my gut kept coming back to the same question of "why?" knowing it was more than that.

My love of traffic comes from living in conscious empathetic harmony with my brothers & sisters while on the road.

Okay now you want to know what I am smoking right?!? Another blog post.

Truth be told it is true. Being stuck in traffic forces us to chose how we want to play this: we can be aggressive, annoyed & controlling (which is my natural tendency) or in community, empathetic & persistent.

The answer to this choice lies the ability to Love Driving in Traffic.

Today when I am stuck on the 405 & at a standstill I take the moment to engage in the energy of the community around me. Offering my energy to those who need it, smiling at others, having gratitude my body is functioning & absorbing the energy of the community around me. All of which are a once in a lifetime opportunity for all of us.

Remember history has shown that times of extreme emergency most of us have a universal call to action and that is to help. Each person you are stuck in traffic with could actually be your hero in a moments notice. You simply never know.

It is a conscious choice to honor each driver, passenger, trucker & whatever rolls our way. 

Take the "Love Driving Challenge" giving this lens a try. Instead of allowing the space for a situation that is 100% out of our individual control & making it a source of energy supporting your best person in the spirit of community.

Try it. I bet you will be completely surprised how life changing this challenge can be.

I believe in you. Namaste.

Regarding what I am smoking I blogged about it before.

So if you are not subscribed to my "Oh it Gets Wild" newsletter now would be a good time.

This way you don't miss any of my bull shit & cursing.

Raise the roof damn it.

 

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Steroid Nation

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Steroid Nation

It is funny because I am sure if you asked most people who know me they would say I want everyone to live a Paleo lifestyle. However this could not be further from the truth.

"My dream is for everyone to get conscious about how they treat their body."

You would think by nature we are. Yet this is not the cultural norm for most of us worldwide. Today's lifestyle choices are based on autopilot living & have nothing to do with consciousness & everything to do with the here and now of instant gratification. The lifestyle of this century is an up to the minute existence offering very little time to get conscious in this current universal equation.

Since the end of April I have been voluntarily homeless & freed of possessions. This has presented a new lens with which to view the world that in a short time has become a huge learning experience. Once you realize how little you need to live a full rich life your lens will forever be different.

Autopilot has no place in possession-less life. The mere act of freeing oneself of possessions brings consciousness to the forefront of daily living.

In this time I have learned how seldom if ever does anyone consider or do the following:

  • Read ingredients of any non-whole foods they consume
  • Consider what is in a product beyond the consumer driven marketing messages
  • Believe their body will be anything but healthy & act accordingly
  • Base decisions solely on desired outcome

These lessons have come in all forms appearing to be ageless, sexless and/or classless. Universally day in and day out our actions solely based on desired outcome having no thought or attention to the net effects the process may have on our person & especially our body.

You see since the age of 23 I have been fighting with every ounce of my BOSS person to stop my body from blowing up as it was self destructing almost daily. Words cannot ever express how freaking hard it is to hear, witness & engage in watching others take deliberate acts that serve only to deliver an outcome without consideration of the cost to play on their body or their person.

These realities I bet we can all relate too:

  • How many of us have been on vacation or away on business feel some sort of sickness coming on and found a doctor to hook us up with antibiotics?
  • How many of us have been willing to take the latest 'diet' aid to lose weight?
  • How many of us have taken steroids to treat inflammation?
  • How many of us alter our body based on visual lens alone?

Almost all of these situations can be effectively treated by diet & lifestyle choices science has shown time & again. If you are reading this blog you already know this to be true. Regardless the masses continue to dictate their daily actions motivated by desire rather than self respect.

The real message of the brand of PaleoBOSS Lady has nothing to do with Paleo. It has to do with getting conscious beyond desire.

Paleo is my path. That does not mean it has to be your path. I am not in your body.

Paleo is my consciousness and modified at that. I follow The Wahls Protocol which is a modified form.  This protocol offers 3 levels and even in that I follow a level I invented with my body which I call level 2.5. The Wahls Protocol focuses on providing my cells with the nutrients needed to support a healthy life. As a result my ability to live my desired life appears limitless without need for outcome driven decisions.

 

Outcomes are easily achieved when consciousness of being are the norm.

It pains me to watch the intelligent, talented & gifted folks we all are take our bodies for granted or treat them with zero respect beyond desire. An outcome driven life is based on human desire having nothing to do with respect of our body.

Last time I checked we have only one body to live during this energy space. However we treat it as if owes us something & get mad when it breaks or does not preform to our desired needs. Almost as if to say "How dare you body!"
  • I wonder if we all started being respectful to our bodies what disease & sickness would look like?
  • Would 1 in 5 be disabled in America?
  • Would hospitals and pharmaceuticals be 2 of the fastest growing enterprises?
  • Would our youth be dying from heroin addiction often fueled by doctor induced drug addiction at alarming rates?
  • Would we have walks every weekend raising awareness for another group that needs funding?

In the end we are all kidding ourselves if we truly believe that an outcome driven life does not have negative impact on our body. You simply cannot artificially alter your temple to suit your needs before it cracks or breaks.

Your body is you & learning to honor, respect and worship it is how you get desired outcomes. Not artificially altering it because then it is no longer uniquely YOU & now has become 'theirs.'

 

Up your volume & own your shit with pride. Raise the roof on life!

Not subscribed to this bullshit newsletter? Why not? You should be.

The end.

 

 

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The Power of Doing Nothing

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The Power of Doing Nothing

One of my most common pieces of advice when you are struggling is to do nothing.

I don't mean when an action is required ignore it. I mean stop pushing your life. Stop "doing" to make life happen in the direction of your dreams and just chill the "F" out.

Doing nothing is the most powerful weapon toward miracle status we have. It is also the hardest thing to do.

Allowing your mind to stop doing can be a huge challenge. I found it to be almost impossible for years. Yes folks I said years. In typical V fashion I did not stop until I got to QUIET and boy am I glad I did!

The 1st time I learned my mind was quiet happened on the yoga mat at the Brandywine YMCA in Delaware. There I was in yoga & for the 1st time in years I elevated my hands bilaterally above my waist! This amazing achievement took 6 months of religiously going to class 3 days a week for this miracle to happen. A miracle that coupled with breathing provided what my body needed to function.

I have been working hard to recreate this outcome since & now believe I have mastered the art of quieting my mind. Which equals almost 2 decades of conscious practice to get to this place. 

If this concept is new to you or if you have just stepped out of practice here is a peek into my "Bag of Tricks" to help you shut the "F" up so the real shit can go down. Damn it.

Energy: Create the desired energy needed to relax your mind. For each of us this is different so there are no rules how this energy should look or feel. My space has a yoga mat, something burning, a room honoring sunrise, music playing and a dog present. This currently is my energy space where my brain stops conscious thinking & moves to the magic space.

Intention: When you want for something the outcome is equal to the input. Wanting seldom produces miracles & often only feels unsettling. By setting an intention believing the journey will provide you create the space for miracles to manifest. Without true intention nothing ever really manifests. Sure things happen without action and those situations the focus should be on how we respond and have less to do with how they happened.

Affirm: Affirm that you know the answer is out there waiting for you. By affirming your person to the understanding that without a doubt the knowledge is within our reach the space for it to be heard is accessible.

Every time I am on the yoga mat I have a pad & pen by my side with a lit candle to be able to write down the many idea's that often arrive during my time on the mat. I affirm before each practice my believe that the space is open for divine energy to show me the way. Often the outcome appears in a stream of consciousness when I am in my most meditative quiet state. Seldom does it appear when I am actively thinking because I have not affirmed to myself the space is within me therefore I cannot tap the resource needed for the energy to be received. I personally need the mat to help create the space of affirmation.

Dedication: Saying you will not think does not deliver this blogs message. Dedicating time each day to quieting the mind becomes one of the most necessary steps you can take to making this powerful tool work. It can be defined however you want and many are surprised at how that can happen with the only rule being a solo tour.

Gardening is a great way to dedicate time to quieting the mind. This type of practice requires you to focus on gardening often quieting the mind of daily stress creating the space for desired outcomes. Cooking can often be the same for many as well as working out. However a key point is the dedicated time is a solo time not to be shared with others.

Believe: The underlying theme in all things is to believe they will happen & you are willing to accept any outcome that comes you way knowing it is the right one. With this mindset you can move mountains. If your person can truly believe the journey of life is delivered exactly how it is supposed to be you create the space for how you want it to be. Believe it or not and if you think about all that is written in the blog and its focus on energy you will begin to see how powerful this step is above all others.

The beauty of this is that is costs nothing, is inside all of us & can make our lives richer, fuller & a mirror picture of our desires and yet the power comes from the art of doing nothing. Now get busy doing nothing & tap your miracle life.

I believe in you.

Not a subscriber yet? Why the heck not? Kidding

Not Kidding. Damn it. #icurse

Consider changing that so we can Raise the Roof together!

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