By: PaleoBOSS Lady® I have only really identified with depression 3 known times in my life.   I feel as if I am heading there again or possibly I am depressed and this time is a little different.

I know that the word failure keeps playing over and over in my mind. #notagoodlookatall

This BOSSlady loves her social media and how it keeps you in touch with people especially my childhood & school age friends!

I cannot relate to anyone my own age or most societal norms. #hereagain

The majority of connections my age are dedicated to their family, often playing with grandchildren, traveling the world with  loved ones, preparing for 'the golden years', retirement savings and a home that is paid for.

Bought my 1st home at 19. Owned 3 homes by age 24.  Starting buying homes for cash before I was 30. #nowirent

Just this week I asked my daughter if she realized my new apartment rental does not have an on-suite bathroom and when she remembers this being my reality?  #1990

You see when this BOSS Lady gets up from bed the body is stiff and it is hard to walk, move  & get around.  The trip to the bathroom requires holding on and being very careful.  Walking down a hall feels like a life sentence and something I forgot about until it became my daily reality.  #disabled

I am the poorest I have been since the age of 18 years old.  I have zero life savings and am completely alone.   

How is it possible because I live with disease? #feelswrong

As of July 2014 I have a graduate degree in Psychology!  This took  7 long, hard years of daily work!  #soproud

It does not change the reality that PBL is legally disabled and living with Multiple Sclerosis.  #iwanttowork

I am struggling to figure out how PBL at the age of 51 and disabled is to suddenly become fully self-sustaining  keeping MS at bay while saving money for retirement?  #fuckme

Do you lose retirement if you have a disease?  Do you need to work and be self sustaining until you die?  Is this realistic?  How does it look?  How can it happen?  What if you can't?  Where do you go?  #brokenrecord

I have something to offer to the world.  There is no doubt! #damnstraight

Yesterday someone dear to me said, "You don't work!" to which my soul died at that moment.  Really!

Kicking secondary progressive MS to the curb with no rule book  is kids play and PBL is on a fucking vacation!  Try and be me for one fucking day and tell me if I work!  #really

Failure.

My job as a disabled American is not defined by the same rules as others.  How can it be 2014 and we live in a society that only see's what is normal as acceptable?  How amazing it would be if we could look at those who are succeeding by getting out of bed all by themselves everyday and that having real value! #priceless

In 2008 I started recording myself almost everyday. It was in an effort to share what being disabled in America is like.  Little did I know I would self heal during this process.  Below are 3 video's each less than 10 minutes long that take you on my journey of beating secondary progressive MS.  Warning: I curse and strip ; ) #ohitgetswild

1 in 5: A Documentary Series by PaleoBOSS Lady®

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

If nothing else you should subscribe to my blog!  No really it would be a great if you would consider subscribing.  One thing I know for sure: I AM A BOSS LADY!  If there is a way I will find it!  Subscribing will give you a front row seat and me the moral boost needed to win this god damn fight!   Sharing is caring too in case your Momma didn't teach you that or you missed the lesson.  #ohitgetswild

 

 

 

 

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