Viewing entries tagged
self help

Suicide by Sugar

Comment

Suicide by Sugar

I am at the plateau of my yearly sugar addiction. The one that really starts during cherry season. Yup you heard that right back in the summer months.

I love sugar. I am an addict.

Gave up refined sugar 5 years ago. Have never looked back.

I love honey, maple syrup & coconut sugar. A lot.

I also love banana's, apples, sweet potato, beets, carrots & all forms of foods high in natural sugar.

Never really missed refined sugar because I had replacements or healthy alternatives shall we say. 

Until...

They are consumed in excess. Which is my pattern.

A pattern that begins in July during the peak of summer fruit & cherry season. I begin to consume large amounts of locally grown fruits increasing my sugar consumption. Turning on the all too familiar sugar addiction.

Next somehow sweet potato's, bananas and apples are on the menu weekly. Sometimes daily.

Sugar. Sugar. Sugar. Love. Love. Love.

In anticipation of the festive holiday season yearly I begin to scale back consumption from Labor Day to Thanksgiving. Once Thanksgiving hits the Suicide by Sugar lifestyle begins in full force.

Holiday treats arrive & I am giddy which for me translates to Paleo cookies, dark chocolate, plus high natural sugar fruits and carb filled vegetables. Like a true addict I consume & consume beyond acceptable limits.

How do I turn it off?

Being a competitive prick is how I stop the Suicide by Sugar cycle.

Every January for the last 4 years I do a challenge that forbids these foods. Challenges long enough that I overcome the cravings all while regaining control of my eating life. When doing these challenges I don't cheat ever. I want to be a 'winner' aka in a top position on my team. Being a BOSS means you always play to win.

Community as always holding the key to success for this miracle.

I never get mad at myself for the natural sugar overload. I just wonder if it will ever change?

My addiction is obviously very real manifesting in a new way since becoming conscious.

Will the day come where sugar does not rock my world? Will a holiday season come without eating too much dark chocolate, Paleo cookies and pies?

Or will the cycle of Suicide by Sugar be a life long reminder of just how powerful this addiction really is?

Not subscribed to my newsletter? Oh shit time to change that.

Hit the subscribe button so you don't miss another post of BAM from this sugar addict. Have mercy.

#upYOURvolume

Comment

My Battle With Alcohol

4 Comments

My Battle With Alcohol

bar-copy.jpg

By: V Capaldi Thought that would get your attention.  Being raised by an addict I take the use of drugs and alcohol very seriously.

I have never done a recreational drug outside of smoking weed. I have been an avid user of marijuana for almost 30 years which equals my years living with Multiple Sclerosis.

Drinking for me did not become a thing until my life on the road began at the age of 25ish.  I traveled and traveled and traveled to the tune of over 200+ days a year for over a decade. At the time I was building international tech companies which was largely a male dominated game.  In order to play "the game" you had to be where it all happened. This included many a cocktail hour, steak dinner, golf outing & strip club visits. Often. Very, very often.

Fast forward decades later & cocktail hour became my therapy.

It signified the wind down. The beginning of a 'deep breath' on the day.

Today I no longer drink.

Knowing with confidence I never will again.

I am still in shock over this reality, but my relationship with alcohol is over & it has been a battle.

make a wish copy
make a wish copy

Not a battle of addiction a battle of numbing myself.

Literally alcohol was toxic beyond what it did to my body physically. Coping skills, stress management, higher purpose ideal's, self love & important shit like that are not in the picture when your daily "wind down" comes from a sip.

Even 1 or 2 glasses, a few days a week offered enough numbing that I was able to continue to autopilot 'dealing' with shit.

When you are a miracle you have to question everything. Over the last 5 years I have slowly been cutting alcohol out of my life. The battle began with conscious effort knowing I had a lot of mental healing work to do to win this fight.

A few weeks ago I drank for the 1st time in months. I had my usual tequila surprisingly not to excess, but I drank.

My body literally went crazy & became violently ill! Painful, violent, scary stuff. No joke friends. 

That is when I knew the battle had ended & this gal would have never ever have alcohol again. I love myself enough to have felt so bad for how I treated my body especially after all it allows for in the face of MS.  Why would I be so cruel to myself? Never again. Never.

The truth is that up until now I had no physical addiction to alcohol I had life routine tied to it. Routines that mattered in a huge way to my life:

  • Winding down
  • Taking a deep breath
  • Relaxing

I am certain my battle with alcohol is finally over because I have worked hard to learn how to: slow my role, have balance, breathe complete with a large "Bag of Tricks" filled with relaxation skills to support my higher purpose life.

If you live in harmony with your body & truly are conscious I have to ask is there really a place for alcohol in our lives? If so, why does a body react so violently to even a sip once clean living happens?

When your body is forcing it out like exorcist kind of stuff shouldn't that tell us something. Throwing up from anything is not good & booze tends to have our body do that in our lifetime. Veggies I do not remember ever doing that to me. Just keeping it real.

I am still healing from that false move of drinking this month.  This is not a good look for my body, but rest assured there is a reason I am a BOSS because when it is time to show up I do. ALWAYS!

Bye bye alcohol. It's been fun, but not really when I look back. Damn it.

Raising a few eyebrows am I? Or not. Who knows.

Would love to have you know all the non sense I rant about by subscribing to my blog.

It comes out weekly & has free shit, cursing & great content. The end.

Thank you for being here. Means the world.

4 Comments