For the past 21 days I have been actively participating in my 5th Whole 30 Challenge. For the last 15 days I have becoming more and more depressed. This coming from someone who in 51 years only has identified with depression once and that was when my life became disabled and my partner walked out!
Last week when visiting with my therapist I cried from the moment I walked in the room. I have been feeling overwhelmed and on an emotional roller coaster. Asking myself over and over again, "What are you doing with the 30+ hours weekly you have free now? Basically having the "What am I going to do with my life now that I graduated conversation!"
Saturday while spending the day with my daughter I literally told her at least 10 times I was struggling emotionally. This type of conversation never happens with this mom/PaleoBOSS Lady because I am a rock damn it! Not this day...
My daughter looked at me and said "Mom you have a lot of good happening in your life that you need to let happen and celebrate. You need to celebrate all of your hard work! You can't stop enjoying things because you are doing a Whole30!"
I listened with anger and yet I heard every word.
To put this in prospective, I am proud to say that in just the last few days my life has consisted of: launching a brand new website, holding a new PaleoBOSS Lady Workshop, getting sign off on my thesis, finishing grad school and driving a car over 5 miles for the 1st time in 5 years!
HUGE milestones that I felt unable to celebrate.
No matter what when you are doing a Whole30 going out & having dinner parties a few times a week doesn't work! Yet what was happening in my life deserved to be celebrated and I was not. This coupled with the thoughts of "Who am I?" became hard for me to sort out mentally.
Driving from the Hollywood Bowl with my daughter and sharing this experience with her was amazing! I never in my life thought I would be driving long distance again and yet here I am! This needs more than an applause.
Damn it! All of this deserves to be screamed from the roof tops and celebrated!
My life narrative was at a cross road with my Paleo life for the 1st time and it did not feel good. I was in emotional and physical pain and something had to change. After much debate, careful thought and in harmony with my daughter the decision was made for PaleoBOSS Lady to do a Whole21!
As of today you can find me celebrating! Cheers!
I feel better already!