Self love is the #1 reason I am a walking miracle. This enabler did not come by this easy. In fact it was the hardest thing I have ever done.
Prior to loving myself I allowed the wants & needs of others to distract the work I needed to do in order to get healthy.
In fact not loving myself was a huge reason why my body blew up. In 2001, I became legally disabled from the devastation known as Multiple Sclerosis. This happened at a time when self love was not even close to being in my person. In fact I was full of self hate.
Self hate was my mantra for most of my life. I believed in myself, but I did not love myself. Sad, but true.
Today my everything is driven by self love. There is not one thing that happens in my life that I do not ask myself if supports my best life. When the answer tells me an action does not I simply will not do it. No matter what.
So how did I get here? Consciously. Very consciously.
The 1st step was with my physical person. Yes I was the one who preferred the lights off during love making due to not liking my body. This needed to change. I needed to not see my body defined by societal norms & their lens.
My perfect body needed to be defined by my lens only.
I began by standing in front of the mirror naked. At 1st I could not even look at my body for a minute. My negative self talk was completely off the hook in the beginning. Until I started asking myself why? Why did I not like my body?
Today I see myself naked with pride. I actually look at myself several times a day naked.
How did I get here?
I began to question why I struggled to look at myself. I truly broke down the chatter I was having & by doing this I learned that most of the thoughts were not mine. However I chose to own them. If I chose to own them I could also stop owning them.
Once I began creating my own vision of my body I began to love it. My hour glass shape suddenly turned into a source of pride rather than a disgust. My person actually preferred an hour glass figure. What a fucking concept!
Next up I needed to ask myself what I did for just me on a daily basis? The initial answer was nothing! Zero.
Sure I worked out daily, but that was 100% motivated by MS. I was afraid if I didn't MS would win. Working out was not for my person it was driven by fear.
Yoga became my time. It was for me & had nothing to do with MS. I have been doing yoga religiously for almost 15 years & it still to this day is all about me. Yes it helps MS, but it helps anyone who does yoga. My time on the mat is motivated by self love.
Last but not least I stopped putting others 1st. This was the hardest of all. Especially when you are talking your kids. My sun rises & sets being a mom. I LOVE my kid so much it can never be described in words. The thought of putting me before her needs was not an easy thing to wrap my head around. It took the help of a therapist to learn how to navigate this new terrain.
I remember it like it was yesterday interviewing my daughter for a project in my BA program. I asked her what she thought of my new conscious life with MS. She told me how she respects me when I say I cannot do something because it does not support my best life. BAM!
My efforts toward unadulterated self love resulted in my kid respecting me even more. She found strengthen in this new version of me which confirmed I was totally on the right path.
In fact yesterday my kid wrote on my Facebook page that I am her hero.
I know for certain this is a direct result of how much I love ME. Not that loving her is not a constant, but having a mom who loves herself inside & out is a powerful message to our children & our loved ones.
Ask yourself about your self love ratio. Answer those questions honestly & map out a strategy to live a life propelled by loving YOU. Trust me the world will respond beyond your wildest dreams.
I promise & I so believe in you! Get some.
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